Waves Breaking Over Rocks Part 2
by Hermione8888
Summary: (This is the continuation to WBOR Pt1.) This year's Games are different, and with the no-volunteering rule, what will happen to Annie? Disclaimer: A lot of this and the original book (THG) belongs to Suzanne Collins. More chapters coming soon! (Sorry if Finnick's death chapter is short) I do appreciate a comment. Thanks ;)
1. Chapter 1

Annie

I am upstairs, in Finnick and my bedroom.

It has white walls and a huge master bed. They bed was so soft; sometimes Finnick and I would spend days in it, only coming out to eat. Finnick had one wall removed and out in glass instead, so every morning we could wake to see the beautiful waves that moved into our private beach. On the wall opposite our bed, there are a series of closets where we keep Finnick's many outfits, hand-picked by his stylist. He despises most of them.

I hear a huge chorus of cheers and applause and it could only mean one thing: Finnick is back.

I run down the stairs, trying not to trip. Finnick has been for a month for this year's games, but, just like every year, it has felt like forever.

I hide behind the couch, trying not to be seen by the crazy swarm of fangirls outside. President Snow doesn't allow us to tell anyone about our love, or the fact that we live together and sleep together, too.

The front door opens and my Finnick comes in, looking dashing as ever, his hair slightly messed up in the usual fashion, he is wearing a shirt that didn't have any buttons, showing his chest, and his eyes are as green as the District 4 ocean. He smiles at the crowd of women and girls and even winks at some, causing them to faint.

Watching got harder every time.

He finally closes the door and falls on his knees. I rush out from behind the couch I was hiding in and go to him.

I kneel in front of him, holding him close. He hugs me back, his tears wetting my shirt.

"It's alright, Finn, they're gone, it's over. You're home." I say.

"Annie, this time it was worse."

"It's all right Finnick, I'm with you now, and you're all right." He nods and wipes his tears away, standing up. "Let's have a cup of coffee and we can go to bed, ok?" We walk to the kitchen and I open the drawer where keep the sugarcubes. He loves sugarcubes.

I give him the sugar so he can out as many as he wants in his coffee. He puts in about ten, a sure sign of his sadness. If he outs more than eight sugarcubes, it's because he needs sweetness. He then puts six sugarcubes in my coffee, exactly six. I ask him what I ask him every day when we drink coffee and he gives me six sugarcubes.

"Why did you put six sugarcubes in my coffee?" He smiles, like he did all those years ago.

"Because you're a six-sugarcube kind of girl." I smile back at him and sip on my coffee.

"Are you ready to talk about it?" I ask, knowing he would tell me if he isn't. He shakes his head slightly but I don't see it. Instead I see Cora, shaking her head at me.

 _"_ _You know I can't, Annie." I have forgotten what Cora is talking about._

 _"_ _Can't what?" I ask._

 _"_ _Move the wedding to today, Shell." She smiles jokingly. "Have you been paying attention?"_

 _"_ _No, sorry."_ I smile back at her, but I can't stay long enough to learn what she had been talking about. All I see now is Finnick, stroking my cheek with his hand.

"Annie. Annie come back to me. Come on, Annie." He says softly. I nod to show him I'm back and he smiles.

"How long was I Away?"

"A minute or two." I look down at my coffee, but there isn't a mug anymore. Finnick must have put it away.

"I'm tired, let's go to bed." I say, rubbing my eyes. I am tired. I'm tired of having to let go of my Finnick twice a year. I'm tired of watching the news and seeing headlines like: Finnick Odair's New Love. I'm tired of him coming back to me depressed and sad.

We walk upstairs, hand in hand. We enter the room and Finnick immediately goes to the bathroom. I know he needs to take a shower. He likes to try to wash off the memory of his clients.

 _"_ _As I was saying, we can't move the wedding to today just because I'm excited! The wedding is one week from now and you need to help me pick the dresses." Cora says._

 _"_ _Is Finnick coming?" I ask. I don't know why I ask though. Why would Finnick Odair want to come to my sister's wedding?_

 _"_ _Finnick? As in Finnick Odair? Have you hit your head or are you making a joke? Because that sure isn't funny." She frowns at me and then the door opens._

I'm back in my room, sitting on the bed. I look at the clock we keep on one wall. Ten minutes have passed. I decide to check on Finnick. When I come in I find him with a towel around his waist so he's only half-naked. But he's scratching his arms and crying violently.

The expression on his face is that of awful determination. His arms are raw and full of marks. I walk towards him but he doesn't stop. Finally, I grab both of his arms and gently pull them away. Then I kiss each arm, one at a time, on their raw spots. I put them at his sides and quietly kiss him. When I pull away my face is wet with his tears.

"She was the worst. It was her again; Garcia." He whispers.

"That bitch." I hiss back, knowing I don't curse unless I'm cursing at something or someone who's been terrible to my Finnick.

"She, she invited her friends over the second time. It was awful, Annie. Five girls, tearing at me. At the same time. It hurt so much, Annie. It hurt so much… All I would do is smile and touch them and kiss them, I couldn't do anything else. It was horrible…"

"You're safe, now. You're in District 4, away from the Capitol where the only person who can touch you is me. You're ok now."

"I wish we could get married." He whispers suddenly. I wish. I wish it so much.

"You know why we can't." I remind him.

"Well, you know what? Fuck the Capitol! I love you more than I love anyone! I want to be with you eternally!" He pauses and thinks something over, then he gets on one knee and takes my hand. He clears his throat and all his anger is gone, replaced with an obvious love. "Annie Cresta, I love you today, I will love you tomorrow, and I will love you forever. So, I'd like to ask: Will you marry me?" My eyes fill with tears, maybe all those times we talked about the future, about a little house by the sea, about rings on our fingers and children playing around us, will come true, someway, somehow. My eyes fill with tears, maybe we couldn't have it all, maybe we'll be imperfect for the rest of our lives, but maybe we'll be imperfect together.

"Yes."

Together we walk back to our room and he puts on his pajamas. We enter the bed, our sanctuary, where nothing can hurt us, where we are together for our little infinity.

I put my arm on his bare chest, he likes to sleep without a shirt because it's hot here in District 4. He puts his arms around my waist and we inter-cross our legs. This is how we've slept every night for the past five years. Except for when we occasionally make love. And when we do, it's special, not like the women in the Capitol do with Finnick. He will ask me if I want to and I always say yes, and then we spend the best night in a long time. He's always gentle and so am I. I don't yank on his hair or bite him so hard he bleeds or hit him so hard he gets bruises, like the other women do. That's why he loves me and not them.

I drift off to sleep and I don't get any nightmares. That's new, considering I've woken up screaming for the past month, feeling the emptiness of the bed.

To wake him, I kiss him several times, softly. His breathing is no longer even but his eyes are still closed and I know he's not really asleep.

"Think that would be enough." I whisper, delivering a kiss that is sure to be making him want more. His eyes flutter open and he smiles. Then I feel something on my stomach and double over, laughing.

"Stop! Please!" I plead, but he keeps tickling me where he knows I'm most vulnerable. "I'll kiss you however many times you want! Just stop!" I say, gasping for air. He finally stops and I fall back on the bed, exhausted.

"Now, about those kisses." He says and I can hear the smile in his voice. He goes on top of me and we kiss, feeling no need to get air.

"Alright. I'm hungry." I say. He gets up and puts a shirt on and I put on some pants. Three years ago I decided to ditch my pants and just sleep in underwear. We go downstairs and are surprised to find Mags sitting there.

"Hello, Mags!" Finnick says. This year he went to the Games with Gabriela and hadn't seen Mags for three weeks.

"Hello, Finnick. I made your favorite breakfast, cake." Finnick's eyes widen as he goes to hug Mags. Mags is like a mother to us. She's the kindest, most comforting, and most considerate person in Panem. "It's a shame I can't stay. I have to go visit Gabriela before she wakes up. Have fun, you two." She smiles and leaves.

Finnick and I sit down and devour the cake. It's delicious.

Finnick suddenly gets that faraway look in his eyes that he gets whenever he's remembering the Capitol.

"Annie…" I take his hand. Tears start falling from his eyes as they meet mine. "Annie, it was so much worse this time. The Games, two people won." I gasp, knowing I'd misheard. No two people can win the Games. Never. "The tributes from 12. They won together."

"No they didn't. Finnick, that's impossible." I say, trying to get him to see reason.

But my Finnick never lies.

"Yes, they did. The girl, Katniss Everdeen, she volunteered for her little sister, do you remember that?" I nod. "The boy, Peeta Mellark, is desperately in love with her. She pretended to be in love, too. Anyone paying attention could see it wasn't real. Peeta almost died because he almost ate some poisonous berries. Katniss stopped him in time but they kept the berries to use them against their enemies. When everyone else was dead and they were the last two, Katniss refused to kill him. She- she pulled out the berries and said they would both eat them at the count of three. Seneca Crane said they had both won and they were pulled out." I gasp. They were both dead already. At least inside.

"They're going to punish them."

"Yes they are, Annie. But they sure punished me. Everyone in the Capitol got excited. Too excited. I was sold twice as much." He started getting choked up with tears. "They touched me so much, Annie. They bit me and hit me. One of them, she took out a whip. It was horrible." He starts crying for good now, tears flowing like rivers from his green eyes. I get up and walk to him, taking him in my arms like he would always do with me.

"There is a good side to it, though." Finnick says when he's calmed down. "People are fighting. They know Katniss didn't pull out the berries for love. They think it was an act of rebellion."

 _Half a year later…_

I hide behind the couch with Mags. Finally the door opens and my Finnick comes in, as dashing as he was when he had left two weeks ago. He closes the door and Mags hurries to shut the blinds. When she's done I jump out and go hug Finnick, who is there to greet me with open arms. I jump into them and he lifts me into the air, twirling me. He puts me down and we kiss. He tastes sweet, like he always does. A flavor due to the massive amounts of sugarcubes he consumes. We break away and Mags hugs him.

The TV turns on automatically and I hear Claudius Templesmith say:

"Everyone, tune in for the announcement of the Quarter Quell!" Finnick and I hurry to the TV while Mags takes her time. The Capitol seal comes on and we hear the anthem. Then I see the horrid president that I hate clear his throat. Someone comes up and hands him a box, where I know the card is. The card will tell us what horrible Hunger Games we're going to have this year. I know I will cry for the kids later, but for now, I just watch, a knot tying in my stomach.

"To show, that even the strongest among us, cannot overcome the power of the Capitol…" A cold feeling washes over me. "…This year's tributes are to be reaped from the existing pool of victors."

I can't process it, but I see Finnick, his face red, standing next to me. He's throwing plates and mugs at the TV and yelling and I've never been more afraid. The china makes a horrible breaking sound as it hits the wall behind the hologram that we call a TV. Mags has stopped knitting and is now looking at the president with a stunned expression.

And then it hits me.

 _I'm going back to the Arena._

I put my hands over my ears and scream. Scream so much it hurts my throat. I curl up into a ball and scream and scream and scream, drowning out the words of the President. _It can't be true. It can't be true. It can't be true_.

I don't stop screaming, and the tears don't stop either. At one point, I just pass out.

When I wake up, I'm lying in bed with a wet piece of cloth on my forehead. Finnick is holding me, and Mags is holding my hand. They're both crying silently.

At first I don't understand because Mags never cries, then I remember about the Quell and the Games and the announcement and the President and I start screaming again. I scream and the tears return and I scream until I pass out again.

This time, when I wake up, I'm not with Mags. But Finnick is asleep beside me, his face red and full of tears. I know now what is going to happen. Snow wants to break us, to kill us, to torture us. He wants to break us apart. But I want him to know that it's going to take a lot more than an arena to separate us.

I slide out of bed, trying not to wake Finnick. But his senses and reflexes are too strong and he opens his eyes the second I move.

"Annie." He whispers. He wants to cry. I do too, but I have no tears left. _Isn't that sad?_ _I can't cry anymore_. And I suppose he can't either.

"Finnick." I whisper back. He turns to face me, and I see all the pain behind his eyes. We hold each other, our eyes closed. We just hold each other.

We stay there for hours, hearing the sea and knowing that when we opened them again, the sky would be dark. Finally, Finnick breaks the silence.

"They're going to pick us. I know they are. The results will be rigged or something, but they will pick us. Snow probably can't wait to see us die. Don't worry, Annie. I won't let anyone hurt you, ever."

"Stop! Just stop talking about the Arena! Please!" I say, covering my ears. I don't want my Finnick talking to me about the future. It hurts, hurts, hurts. But all that is washed away:

 _It's just the water and me. I can hear nothing but my own heartbeat and the waves. I float, weightless, on the ocean and let it carry me. I let my hair and white dress fan out and I remember someone telling me that I look like an angel when I do this, but I can't remember who. It must have been someone really sweet._

I'm back in reality, in Finnick's arms.

"I'm so sorry, love. I didn't know it would hurt you. I'm sorry, Annie." Finnick whispers in my ear.

"It's ok. It's not your fault." Finally, he breaks. He sobs into my shoulder, and I comfort him like I do every time he cries.


	2. Chapter 2

Finnick

"To show, that even the strongest among us, cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, this year's tributes are to be reaped from the existing pool of victors." I run to the kitchen and get everything I can carry and I throw it at the hologram. I want to break it, I want one of the shards to get to the President and kill him, I want to bring him back to life and kill him again, for hurting me and my Annie.

She starts screaming and covering her ears, curing into a ball on the ground, the way she does when she doesn't want to hear something. Mags drops her knitting and stares at the TV, her face gone pale. I just keep throwing plates in a mad fit of rage. I start yelling, too.

"How dare he! How dare he bring us back! Fuck him and fuck the Capitol!" I yell, knowing that he can't hear me. Tears start falling down my cheeks and I keep going, throwing anything I can reach. I continue until there's nothing left for me to break and the room is a mess. Suddenly, Annie collapses.

I run to her aid, picking her up and carrying her upstairs. _He broke her again! How dare he break her like that!_ I think as I climb the stairs with Mags on my heels. Tears start falling again, but these are for her. For her suffering, just like she cries often for mine. I put her in bed and crawl in with her, holding her, trying to protect her from the world.

Mags comes in about half an hour later, and there are dry tears on her cheeks. Mags never cries, not ever. I swallow nervously, worried about my Annie. Mags sits beside her and holds her hand, putting a wet cloth on her forehead.

Annie slowly opens her eyes, but knowing her, it won't last. Not that it's a bad thing. I love Annie more than anything. I love her aqua eyes and red hair and freckles, and her love of the beach and shells and knots, and the way she smiles and the way she races me and the way she laughs, and I hate to see her suffer.

Realization hits her and she starts screaming again. I start crying because she's in so much pain. She's screaming and crying and I can't help her. I'm a horrible slut that she doesn't deserve. Finally, she faints again.

After an hour, Mags leaves to make dinner. Annie moves restlessly, like she's been doing for the past half an hour. I try to stay awake, but my nerves and the fact that it's late win me over.

I feel something moving, and I think Annie might be waking up. I open my eyes, which are empty now. There are no tears left in me. I turn to face her, then I hug her and I hold her close, savoring every bit of time we have left.

"Annie." I whisper because I like her name and I will never get tired of hearing it.  
"Finnick." She whispers back. I know I love the way she says it, full of love.

I hold her and let her hold me. It's one of those times when I remember that Annie is stronger than me. She has been through more than I have, and she's still here to tell the tale. Finally, I say:

"They're going to pick us. I know they are. The results will be rigged or something, but they will pick us. Snow probably can't wait to see us die. Don't worry, Annie. I won't let anyone hurt you, ever."

"Stop! Just stop talking about the Arena! Please!" She cries. I hurt her. I hurt my Annie. I don't deserve to live. I'm about to apologize, but her eyes go blank and I know she's Away. I wait for her like I always do, tucking her hair behind her ears and putting my forehead to hers, breathing her air and looking into her eyes. I whisper words to her, apologizing. Finally, she moves slightly and I know she's back.

"I'm so sorry, love. I didn't know it would hurt you. I'm sorry, Annie." I whisper to her.

"It's ok. It's not your fault." I start sobbing like a baby because I love her so much. And she loves me back. And even though we'll never be perfect, our love is perfect for me. And it will vanish in six months, when I die and she wins.


	3. Chapter 3

Annie

We make love every night, we go to our beach every day, we eat with Mags, and we spend some days in bed, just laughing and eating and enjoying what little time we have.

Because the reaping is tomorrow.

I thought we would be infinite. I thought that nothing could bring us down. I thought we would love until we were old and sickly and we would die old together and asleep. I thought we would have the family we had always wanted. I thought we would get married. I thought we would live happily ever after.

I was wrong.

I'm going to die. I'm not afraid, though. Because Finnick is Finnick, so he will win. And maybe he will live happily ever after even though I will die young. He will have the chance to die old and safe and in bed.

It's the middle of the night, but I can't sleep. I feel his naked form underneath me rise and fall on an irregular breathing pattern. He's not asleep, either.

"I love you, did you know that?" I whisper to him.

"I love you just as much." He says, lacking his usual flair. But the words mean just as much to me.

I fall into a dazed sleep, never fully sleeping but never fully awake. So much for our last night.

I wake up suddenly at the sound of the alarm clock. _Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry_.

"Finnick, time to get up." I tell him, because I can't make myself kiss him. If not, I would cry.

"I was up, love, I just wanted to pretend this wasn't happening." I kiss him lightly and get out of our bed, our sanctuary, our safe heaven, the place where I'm just Annie and he's just Finnick.

I don't race him, I don't even wait for him to get out of bed. I only walk downstairs slowly, to the kitchen. I make coffee without looking at our sugarcubes because if I looked at them I'd start to cry.

I hear steps, but I don't turn to look, I know it's Finnick. I just take our coffee to the table quietly. It's bitter, but I don't care. I don't want sweetness. I don't want more bits and pieces of home. I just want to get to the Arena and die already so that Finnick can come back here as soon as possible.

I kiss him goodbye when I'm done and leave, knowing I'd come back later.

I walk to my house, feeling alone and empty. I tell myself: _don't cry, don't cry, don't cry._

Once inside, I run to the bathroom and vomit everything, and then some bile when I have nothing left. My face is a sickly green and I have bags under my eyes. But Garcia would show up any minute.

"Annie? Are you home?" I hear her say. I open the door and let

her in. She smiles, but it contains her usual jealousy. _Too bad_ , I think, _Finnick is not your property_.

"Annie?" I hear a softer voice say from behind her. _It's Finnick_. I know I only saw him an hour ago, but it feels like a lifetime. There's a string, pulling me to him, so I can't go far without him. And he feels the same way. Without thinking, I go forward to him and hug him, burying my face in his chest.

"Help me get through this." I whisper. He kisses the top of my head, not caring about Garcia. We were going to be dead soon, anyway.

"Well, we better get moving." Garcia says, gritting her teeth, but I only hold on tighter. I don't ever want to be separated from my Finnick ever again. I feel something pulling me away and I grab his shirt, ignoring my oppressor. I took one of Finnick's hands and put in it a necklace. It's a shell necklace I had made for him, working hard every day to carve the shell out perfectly, so that Finnick would have a piece of me when he was with his clients.

Half an hour later, we are out of the house, walking with the other victors, towards the Justice Building. I'm shaking, even though it's not that cold. The only things keeping Finnick from warming me up are the cameras. We know that if we show any signs of our love, there is no chance of either of us making it out of the Arena. I do hold hands with Mags, though. To distract myself I look at our clothes. Gabriella is wearing a brown dress that sticks to her body and reaches the ground, but shows one leg. Triton is wearing a sea green shirt that opens at the middle, showing his bare chest. The other victors are wearing clean and festive clothes, although they all have such a grim look on their faces it's sad. Mags is wearing a navy dress with a rope belt. Finnick is wearing one of my favorite white seaters that makes his eyes stand out and my necklace on top. He fingers it lovingly and I blush. I'm wearing a long, green, fancy, shirt with light brown pants.

Finally, we arrive at the Justice Building. It's completely empty except for the Peacekeepers. This only makes me more nervous. I catch Finnick's glance and, once again, it says all the things our mouths can't.

 _Finnick, I'm scared._

 _I'm scared, too, Annie. But we'll go through this together._

I go up to the stage and as soon as I step on it, all the memories come back, rushing through my mind like a river. Strangely, I see the ground getting closer and closer and I hear yells, and then there's nothing.

 _I feel the wind on my hair and I'm laughing, enjoying the sound of my laughter, lost with the wind and the sea. We speed through the water, Cora, Father, Arnav, Spencer, and I. Cora's hair is shaken by the wind, making it swish like a flag, projecting all its red and orange and gold hues. It looks like the hair of the princesses in movies, all perfect, while mine gets messy and tangled. But I like it better like this. I reach down and touch the water, rippled by the speed of our boat._

 _I haven't felt happy like this in a long time, seeing the gold of the setting sun and feeling the wind on my hair and the sea at my fingertips._

 _But everything seems unreal, like I shouldn't be there._

I hear the voice of the angels again, bringing me back to reality.

"Annie, love, the reaping is starting." My Finnick says. Then he gives me one last sad look and goes to the other side of the stage. _He's so far_ , I think. _Would I be able to reach him if I got attacked? Or is this just my imagination, telling me everyone's an enemy._

"Hello everyone! Welcome to the Reaping of the Third Quarter Quell! Oh, I'm so excited! Now, before we choose our male and female tributes, I have to tell you about a new rule that applies to this year only! Listen closely: there shall be no volunteers this year!" Great, now there is no chance at all of either Finnick or me to stay. "Well, now that that is sorted out, we will choose our female tribute!" The blood drains from my face, if there was any there already, and the only thing keeping me from passing out is Mags's hand.

Garcia walks to her glass urn, moving her body to show all of her curves. She puts her hand in evilly, and right before she picks the name, she looks at me as if saying:

 _Your turn._

She pulls out a little piece of paper. I think it's funny that my future depends on such a little piece of paper. That little piece of paper has my name on it, I'm sure, just like the rest of the little pieces of paper.

"Annie Cresta!"

"No! No! Please! No!" I scream. The scream hurts my throat and my ears. I scream and I cry and I choke on my tears. "Finnick! Help!" I scream and scream and scream.

I feel a pair of rough hands, pulling me to the stage. I grab a nearby pole and hold on for my life. _I don't want to go back, I don't want to go back, I don't want to go back._

I'm still screaming my head off and I'm sobbing, and I'm very confused. _Where's Finnick? Why isn't he helping me?_

I feel more hands on my back, and I know that I'm not strong enough to hold on. Finally, they wrench me away from the pole and take me to the stage. I'm kicking the Peacekeepers and biting some of them, too. They throw me forcefully against the hard floor and _it hurts, hurts, hurts_.

I don't get up, I just stay down, lying on the floor in pain. I stop screaming to catch my breath and I hear it:

"Finnick Odair!"

If I thought I was screaming loudly before, it's nothing compared to right now.

"No! Not him! Please!" I scream, but I look at him and he's smiling. _Why is he smiling?_ I wreck my brain trying to remember, but I don't get very far because he's already on the stage and looking down at me with a look of embarrassment and hatred.

I don't scream, I just cry. _Why does Finnick hate me? Why? Why? Why? I love him, I thought he loved me, so why does he hate me?_

Then I feel the same pair of arms on my back and I let out an earsplitting scream.

The Peacekeepers pull me up, hurting my arms. They take me under my armpits and lift me up, carrying me into the Building.

I turn around quickly to get a last glimpse of Mags, wiping off tears.

I don't think about why we didn't say goodbye. It's obvious. Snow hates us.

I'm still screaming, but as soon as the doors close behind me, I feel something crash into me. That something is holding me by the head and waist and I am sliding my arms up his back.

"Don't worry, Annie, I'm here now." He tells me. _So he does love me after all_.


	4. Chapter 4

Finnick

Garcia is moving to the glass urn that has Annie's name in it. I have to scream, I can't hold it in. they're going to take her. They're going to take my Annie.

But I have to keep acting for her, for the cameras, because if I don't they will kill us as soon as we step foot in that Arena.

Garcia puts her hand in the urn and I hate her. I hate her more than anybody but Snow. And it's not because she bought me, it's because of the look she gives Annie. She looks at her as if telling her that she knows it's going to be her. Annie shrinks back like she does when she's scared and sad. The only thing that matters to me is her.

"Annie Cresta!"

"No! No! Please! No!" She screams. The scream hurts my ears. She's miserable, screaming and sobbing. I have to hold on to a pole to keep from going to help her. "Finnick! Help!" I can't breathe, I can't see, I just want to run to her and stop her pain. But I can't. Once again, the only thing I can do for her is stand still and look pretty. And it's killing me.

Two Peacekeepers advance on her and she grabs a pole. She holds on as they tear at her, not sparing a moment to be gentle. She screams even louder when two more Peacekeepers grab at her. She looks at me for an instant. I out on a mask, I try to look embarrassed. I try to show it, but I don't know if I'm doing it right. She looks confused, though, as to why I'm not helping her. And I want to yell out to the world that I want to help her and I can't. The Peacekeepers slam her onto the stage and I move all of my energy into not murdering them. She howls in pain and I want to kill those Peacekeepers. I almost forget what's about to happen.

"Finnick Odair."

I look down like I always do to hide the silent tear sliding down my cheek. Annie's screaming louder, she's screaming for me. Even though I'm not helping her. She's screaming for me.

I look back up with a charming smile and walk proudly to the stage. Annie is still on the ground and I do my best to look at her with embarrassment. I imagine that I'm looking down at Snow or Garcia, but the illusion is gone when they pull her up and carry her in.

The second the doors close I run to her and hold her, trying to show her that I do care, that I do love her. She returns my hug by holding on as tightly as she can. And maybe I am good. Maybe I do the right thing sometimes. Maybe I'm not a slut. Because, after all, if a girl like Annie loves me, maybe I am great.

I hold her as we walk to the train and as soon as I get there I take her to my room.

I always have a double bed, unlike the other tributes and Mags. Annie realizes this and she gasps.

"Did they- did they make you do it here?" She asks.

"No, it's only because they assume I bring girls in. I don't." She nods. I pull her to my bed, now ours, and strip my clothes off. I get in and she follows suit, taking off her pretty shirt and pants and underwear and leaving them on the floor. We don't move, though, we just lie there, together, as one. Eventually we both fall asleep, and I have my usual nightmares. Nightmares about Snow and Annie and the Games. I never scream when I wake up, though. I feel her there and know everything's fine. I don't know what I'd do if I had to wake up without her every day.

I hear a knock on the door and Annie wakes straight up. She rushes out, taking her clothes and hiding in the bathroom, just in time for the door to open and Garcia rushes in.


	5. Chapter 5

Annie

 _Knock, knock, knock._

I run out of our bed, detangling myself from Finnick. I take my clothes and run to the bathroom, not fully closing the door. Garcia enters, blushing at Finnick's nudeness. I want to get out of the bathroom to stop her, but Finnick quickly catches my eye and shakes his head ever so slightly as Garcia comes over to him. In one quick movement she removes all of her garments.

She jumps on him, but he catches her, taking her down with him on his bed. She tangles her fingers in his hair and he caresses her skin softly. She forces her lips on his and tears slide down my eyes. He answers back to her with equal forcefulness. Then he moves on to kissing her neck, in the spots where he used to kiss me. More tears escape my eyes but I don't make a sound. _Trust Finnick. Trust Finnick. Trust Finnick_.

I hear her moan and he makes these strange sounds from the back of his throat that obviously means pleasure. She runs her arms around every part of him, and he touches her back. He kisses every part of her body and I swallow bile. At one point I have to worry that she might get pregnant and that's just too much for me and I sink into darkness.

"Annie I'm sorry! I had to! Please Annie, don't hate me! Please don't hate me!" I hear him sob. I open my eyes and find myself being held by Finnick, whose face is red and his eyes puffy and swollen. But the things that hurt the most are his arms, neck, and legs, scratched raw. He's still begging for forgiveness, but he doesn't have to. I could never me mad at him.

"Oh, Finnick. I know why you did what you did. I still love each and every part of you."

But he still kept going, trying to tell me that he didn't want to and that he hated every second as much as I did. But it's not necessary because I know him, and what he was doing while he was with Garcia didn't give him pleasure. I could read it off his face, even though he hid it well.

"Finnick Odair! I love you and I will always love you and what that woman or all the women in the Capitol do to you isn't going to change that one bit!" I tell him angrily. He looks at me, surprised, and the tears stop flowing. And then he kisses me so hard I blush. He kisses me like there's no tomorrow, even though he holds my face gently. We kiss and we kiss and there is nothing other than us in this little world.

An hour later, we go to eat lunch. The thing that surprises me the most is that I haven't cried since we got out of District 4, except for the time Garcia raped Finnick.

When we get there we don't even bother letting go of each other's hands. We don't care that much anymore, besides, I doubt that after what happened earlier, holding hands will change Garcia's feelings. Especially after Finnick whispers something in her ear. I don't even ask him what it is. I don't want to know.

When we sit down, Finnick looks at me and gives me an encouraging smile, showing his cute dimples. I squeeze his hand to reassure him and he looks so thankful for that little gesture that it breaks my heart.

"Tomorrow we will arrive at the Capitol." Garcia says, as if I need reminding.

Finnick turns to reassure me again but I'm not there.

 _"I got some more shells for the sandcastle!" Finnick says, walking towards me proudly. He looks so happy and everything feels just right. We're happy in District 4 and his hair is golden and his eyes the same color as the sea behind him._

 _But I feel something strange, a sort of fear. Like there's a dark cloud on the horizon, coming closer, but never getting to me._

 _"How are you two lovebirds doing?" Cora asks, coming over. She looks gorgeous in her bikini, unlike me._

 _"You look beautiful, Annie. More beautiful than any other girl in the world." Finnick whispers, making me blush._

 _"Here, have some chips." Cora says, giving us a bag of potato chips._

 _"Uncle Finn!" A young voice says. That voice belongs to Arnav, who is running to us right now, his arms outstretched._

 _"Hey Arnav!" Finnick says, picking his up and winking to me. He runs to the water and Arnav is laughing, his expression gleeful. Finnick throws him in and dives after him. Cora runs after them, yelling half-heartedly at Finnick. I can tell she's having fun, too._

 _The Sun is setting and the water turns orange but I don't get in. it's enough for me to watch the people I love most._

 _"Come on, love!" Finnick yells, beckoning me to the water. I run at him and he picks me up and swings me around._

 _We love each other so much. And Cora loves me and Arnav loves me. And then it's all gone._

I hear yelling and get scared, wishing I was at the beach with Cora and Arnav and Finnick. But instead I'm here, hearing my beloved Finnick yell angrily, responded by an outraged Garcia.

"Look what happened to her!"

"I didn't mean to!"

"Well, you did!"

"Finnick! It's ok, I'm fine." I assure him. He doesn't seem very assured, though. Garcia look terribly afraid and I wonder if I should really stop Finnick. Then I think: That is awful, Annie! You're as much a monster as she is! So I start to cry. I can't stop, so I just leave silently, hoping Finnick doesn't notice. But Garcia does.

"Oh, look who's leaving…" Finnick turns around immediately, but I've already started running. I run to his room because it's really just as mine as it is his and lock the door.

"Annie! Open up!" I hear him yell.

"I'm- I'm fine." I try, but my voice betrays me and I sound as sad as I feel.

"Please, Annie…" _Great, now I've hurt Finnick._

 _I'm a monster, I'm a monster, I'm a monster._

I cry for a few hours, not bothering to calm myself down; I don't deserve it.

I open the door when I've finally stopped crying and almost trip over Finnick.

"Oh, you were waiting for me. There's no need. I don't deserve it." Finnick looks so outraged that for a moment I almost allow myself to believe I'm not bad.

"Annie, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. You and I deserve a lot more than what we're getting, and I want you to believe that we're allowed each other."

I would kiss him, but the train stops.

"We're here!" Garcia squeaks.

I don't cry, I just give Finnick a quick kiss before she bursts into the room. Then she pulls us apart and takes us to different rooms with our stylists.

The sky is dark and the moon is reflected on the beautiful water of 4. Cora and Arnav have already left and are probably nice and comfortable at home. I'm standing in front of Finnick, our foreheads touching, looking down onto the black water. My hands are in his and everything is calm; the only sound being that of the waves.

"What wrong with her?!" I hear a very worried voice exclaim.

"Call Finnick!" I hear another.

"What's wrong?" I hear after a few minutes. "Why, she's perfectly alright." Finnick says.

"Are you sure? She was like, staring into space. It scared the hell out of us. But we're glad you're here." Rosalie says, trying to flirt.

"Hey, enough of that. I'm fine. Get back to work." I tell them, trying to take the attention away from Finnick. They look at me if I've said something wrong, but it's ok. They get back to whatever they were doing before.

They bathe me again in that huge bathtub, but I can't allow myself to enjoy it _. I'm in the Capitol. I'm going to the Hunger Games. And the worst part is: Finnick is here with me._

"Done! You look beautiful!" Florio exclaims. Garcia takes my arm, pulling on it painfully, as she drags me to the door. Finnick comes next to me and takes my hand, squeezing it. _Isn't it sad? The only thing I can do with Finnick now is hold his hand in stolen moments._

The doors open and I put all of my energy into not falling down and crying.

"It's ok, Annie. I'm here with you." Finnick whispers, sensing my discomfort.

"Just remember I'm with you too. I know I'm out of my mind but even then will I be with you forever."

When I step out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the train, I have only two things on my mind: _I'm in the Capitol, and Finnick is with me._

Garcia walks us along the city, waving to the fans. I see the posters again. They say horrible things about my Finnick. Things that they think are alright.

One hour later, we're about to go into a grand room, prepared especially for the Quell. There are no citizens there, just the Avoxes, but soon all the other Victors would come in. I would have to face them all, maybe some of them are nice. I think that would be even worse.

"District 1: Cashmere and Gloss!" One of the doors opens and two gorgeous young people go in. the girl, Cashmere, has golden, wavy, hair and bright blue eyes. She has a ton more curves than I do and she doesn't bother hiding it. My eyes catch hers and I see all of the sorrow in them. Finnick wears the same expression. I guess she gets sold too.

Gloss looks a lot like his sister, with the same eyes and hair color. He wears the same hurt in his eyes, although his is far more hidden.

"District 2: Brutus and Enobaria!" A second door opens and the victors come in. I shrink down, even though I'm just watching from a hologram. They're terrifying. Enobaria would be pretty, if she didn't have teeth like knives. Brutus is so strong-looking, I bet he could beat Finnick at wrestling. No one has ever been able to do that. I decide that, unlike the District 1 tributes, I don't like these two.

"District 3: Wiress and Beetee!" I smile when they come out, then immediately regret it. They look nice, if a little crazy. But I know all about crazy. In fact, I see the same lost expression on Wiress as I do every time I look in the mirror, even though she has a certain brilliance behind it. Beetee looks like a mad scientist, almost, with fidgety hands and glasses that he constantly has to push up.

"District 4: Finnick and Annie!" The doors open and I'm in the huge party room with the other victors they've called. They all look us over. The Careers, who I've decided are the ones from 1 and 2, look at Finnick, frowning, knowing he'll be hard to beat. Then they look at me and smirk. They know I'm weak, but Finnick gives them such a hard glare that they back down. Beetee smiles when he catches my eyes, probably because he knows I'm similar to Wiress, who looks like she might be a close friend of his.

A few other districts go by and I have to try hard not to cry when I hear the number 11 being called, remembering a brown-haired girl with a kind smile.

Seeder, the woman from 11, looks at me sadly, as if she remembers Carolina. I certainly remember her. _She was my best friend and she died in my arms…_

"Annie, do not go Away, please, I need you here." I hear my Finnick whisper. That brings me back to reality extremely quickly. I turn to look at him. He doesn't look worried, he looks terrified. At least to me.

"District 12: Katniss and Peeta!" I think back to the girl that volunteered for her sister and cheated the Games. I suppose I'll see her for the first time now.

She comes in, holding hands with a blonde boy who must be Peeta. He isn't very handsome, then again, I am in love with Finnick Odair. Katniss looks awfully young. She has black hair and dangerous gray eyes. She would look scary if she wasn't so young, but I can tell she's afraid. Another thing I notice right away is how in love Peeta is with her. He looks at her almost as lovingly as Finnick does to me. But Katniss doesn't feel the same way. Her expression is blank, she doesn't caress the hand given to her by him. But I can tell she loves him. I don't know if she loves him in the same way he loves her, I don't even know if she knows she does. But it's clear to me. She looks at him for comfort, and that is love.

"Hey Odair!" I hear someone say. I jump, my instinct telling me to protect Finnick. "Chill, Cresta. I'm Johanna Mason." Says a tough-looking young woman in front of us.

"Oh, hey Johanna." Finnick says, looking relieved. I'm jealous, all of a sudden, of Johanna, even though I know Finnick loves me and only me. "Johanna, meet Annie. She's my… partner." Johanna smirks, moving his eyes back and forth between us. Then she bursts out laughing.

"You two are really obvious." She tells us when she's done. I automatically shrink back, closer to Finnick, and this only makes her laugh harder.

"You listen up, Johanna. You tell anyone and you'll get a trident through the chest." He says, loud enough for me to hear. He immediately realizes his mistake, but it's too late; the world is already slipping away.

 _"Alright, which one do you like best?" Cora says, showing me two beautiful wedding dresses. One of them is creamy white and tight, adorned with pearls. The other is light blue with a big skirt._

 _"Definitely the white one." I tell her. She then goes into a changing room to put it on. When she comes out, I have to gasp because she looks more beautiful than I'd ever seen her._

 _"So, Annie? What do you think?" Cora asks me, twirling._

 _"You look beautiful, sis!" Arnav exclaims, bursting into the store. He runs up and hugs Cora, who smiles lovingly._

 _"Hey Annie!" Arnav says with enthusiasm as he comes to hug me as well._

 _The door opens again and Finnick comes in._

 _"You look great, Coral." He tells her halfheartedly. Something's wrong. Finnick never says things halfheartedly._

 _"Annie please come back. Please, I need you." The world starts spinning, but his voice is still there._

"Annie, please."

"Oh, stop it already! Just let her be zoned-out, it can't hurt!"

"Finnick?" I ask. He smiles and turns to Johanna, giving her the deadliest of looks.

"Well, hello, Finnick; Ms. Cresta." Says Beetee, the victor from 3. "Finnick I need to talk to you. And Johanna. It's about the bird." At those words, Finnick tenses up. I look him over, but I'm sure he's hiding something. I'm not scared, though. Finnick would never hide anything from me, not ever. As soon as he leaves, I see Wiress coming over here.

"Hello, Annie." Wiress says, sitting down next to me. "How was your day?" She asks, as if we aren't being sent to the Arena _. Don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it._

"I'm fine, a little bored, though. My l-mentor, my mentor, is over there, talking with Beetee." She smiles honestly then says:

"Have you tried the fruit punch?" She asks, on a completely different subject.

"No, I haven't. Is it good?"

"Yes, but the pudding's better." She laughs as if I've said something funny, except I haven't. _Is this what I'm like?_ I wonder.

"Are you in love with anyone?" I ask her suddenly. It's a good question, though. I wonder if she's ever loved like I have.

"No, no one except for Beetee stands me. He's a good friend, but I don't love him in that way, I don't have time, neither does he." I frown. It's really sad not to love someone, I don't know what I'd do without my Finnick.

"Have you ever been in love?" She asks with a much wiser voice that reminds me of Mags.

I'm about to answer when Finnick comes back, looking a little paler. I blush, remembering Wiress's question. She looks me over and then at him and then back at me. Then she smiles.


	6. Chapter 6

Finnick

I look into Annie's eyes, and the way they lighten up when I come to her, and I just feel like dying because I'm lying to her.

There's going to be a rebellion. About half of the victors already know, including Mags. I was recruited in the victory tour. Now, Beetee has just told me that there's a plan to get us out of the Arena. But the condition is that I have to give up my life for Katniss and Peeta, if necessary. I would do that to help the rebellion, but on my own condition and that is that they rescue Annie. In the case that someone tortures her enough to get out information, I haven't told her. No one will torture her if she doesn't know anything. No one can harm her if she's of no help. And if the revolution fails, they will catch me. Annie will be spared. So I haven't told her.

"Finnick, can we go now?" Annie whispers. Her face saddens me deeply, looking at her big sad eyes that are tired of being exposed to a public she doesn't care about.

"I'm sorry, love. No, we can't go back."

"Um, hello Finnick. You're Annie Cresta, right?" Says a beautiful woman with dark skin, who I think comes from District 11. I nod and she tells Finnick:

"Finnick, Johanna's with Nuts and Volts. I'll go with Chaff, you're strongest. You get the bird and the boy." This doesn't make any sense to me, but it seems to make sense to Finnick because his eyes darken.

"And what about Annie?"

"She's with me. Remind Heavensbee of my conditions. I will not help the cause if she's not saved."

"What are you talking about, Finnick?"

"Nothing, Annie. Please trust me." She doesn't believe me, but perfect as she is, she trusts me nonetheless.

We eat in silence, surrounded by other people who've gone mad like us. We hold hands under the table, giving each other much needed comfort. As I'm finishing my dinner, Johanna starts talking to Annie. I can't hear their conversation, but I'm getting worried.

After what feels like forever, we're allowed to go back to the tribute living quarters.

"Come on, everyone!" Garcia says the second we get out. She takes my arm and laces it around hers. I swallow bile at the memory of her fingers and her hands. I shudder, remembering all those times I said I loved her but never meant it and all those times she's touched me and I've touched her back like I did love her. But I only love Annie and I only want her and Garcia is getting in my way and I hate her almost as much as I hate President Snow.

We get home, or what is supposed to be our home now: the tribute quarters. I immediately go to my room and after making sure that Garcia isn't looking, Annie slips in behind me.

I sit on the bed and pat my legs as a sign that she should sit on them. She's not heavy at all, and when she leans back against my chest I finally relax. We fall asleep like that, in a sitting position, but we're finally together, even though we'll be separated once more by endless nightmares.

I'm in a cell, I think. There is something on my feet, making them stay still. It bothers me a lot that I can't move, but I look around the cell, nonetheless. It's not very big, but it's dark and eerie. It smells terrible, too. Other than that, the cell is empty. There's no toilet or mirror or bed, just the bars on one side that lead to a hallway, which is the only reason that there is light in the cell at all.

I hear footsteps, but I can't move anyway.

"See if your beloved Finnick comes to help you now." I hear a woman say from the hallway. There's no answer, but she's obviously not alone.

When the woman enters the cell, I see recognize her as Garcia. I scowl, but I can't get to her because of the chains on my feet. She can't see me, though. Or at least she acts like it. She's dragging another mess of a girl, who I can't recognize because of her constant fighting. She's struggling to get free and I wish I could help her.

It's only when she's thrown to the ground that I recognize her as my Annie.

"Annie!" I scream. No sound comes out of my mouth, though, except for a hoarse moan. I feel like there's something taking the breath out of my lungs every time I try. I can't talk or scream or yell, but Garcia takes Annie and kicks her so hard she's forced to stay on the ground.

"I guess your little Finnick isn't coming for you this time, is he?" Garcia tells her ask she takes out something from a bag she's carrying. It looks like a snake, but when she uncoils it I see it's actually a whip. I scream even though I can't because there's nothing else that I can do.

Garcia removes Annie's torn clothes, leaving her naked and defenseless on the cold cell floor. She brings back her whip and I'm gagging, my blood freezing out of fear. She brings the whip down as hard as she can and Annie lets out the most agonizing scream.

"Finnick!"

She can't see me, or hear me, but I can see every whip mark on her body, and hear every scream she lets out. There's no clean flesh on her back anymore. At this point her eyes close and she goes limp.

When I open my eyes I find Annie sleeping, safe and sound, on my chest. Her chest goes up and down, and her expression is troubled. I know she's having more nightmares and I can't bear the thought of her living through dreams similar to mine.

"Annie," I whisper. "Annie, love, you have to wake up now." Her eyes flutter open and I can see the fear in them.

"Finnick? Where are we?" I have to tell her the truth, I don't want to hurt her by telling her we're home and then, later, having to tell her about the Games.

"We're in the Capitol." I whisper to her. Her eyes well up but surprisingly, she doesn't shed a tear. She's strong, I've always admired that about her. She's stronger than me and stronger than anyone else. She's the strongest woman alive. She's been through hell and yet she still has the time to comfort me.

"Come on, let's get up now." She tells me, getting out of our bed.

The next day….

"Rise and shine!" Garcia tells me as soon as I get out of her bed. I hurry to put my clothes back on and try not to think about Annie. I kiss Garcia more before she closes the door, but it's a fake. Oh, it's so fake. But it doesn't make up for the fact that I'm a slut; that I go around people's houses, sleeping with every one of them. I hope I get to the hotel before Annie wakes up in case she has nightmares. She usually does when I'm not there.

I run through the streets, thinking about the way her green eyes will fill with tears when she sees me. I open the door to the bedroom to find her sound asleep. I sigh in relief, but I tense again as soon as I see the dry tears on her eyes. I try to get in with her, to help her in her slumber, but she wakes up with a scream.

"Shh, it's ok, Annie, I'm here now."

"Finnick! You were gone! I woke up and you were gone!" She sobs. My heart feels like there is a dagger through it. She launches herself at me, grabbing on to my shirt. She must have had another nightmare, or forgotten that I had my first client last night. From the looks of her, she woke up before, realized I wasn't there, and cried and screamed until she passed out. I keep my tears in because she needs me to be strong.

One day later…

"Wake up!" I hear Garcia call. I kiss Annie's cheeks and her lips, waking her up in a way that won't upset her. "Today you have the carriage rides!" Oh god, I'd almost forgotten. Today we have the carriage rides, where they're going to dress me up, most likely only covering a certain part of my body. I want to cry, in fact I shed one or two tears before my love wakes up. I don't want to show off my body, I don't want people to see. The only person I want touching me in any way is Annie, and she's precisely he only person I'm not allowed to love. I walk out, rubbing my eyes, hoping no one will notice their light shade of red.

"Finnick?" Annie asks. I don't turn around, hoping she doesn't see my eyes. But she's not stupid. "Finnick what's wrong?"

"I'm just not in the mood for a show." She understands, as she always does. She just takes my hand. She has to let it go, though, when Louis shows up

"Finnick! Nice to see you again! Annie, it's been so long!" He hugs both of us, giving each of us two kisses, one on each cheek. "Alright, let's get you two ready!" He takes us into different rooms. I think about Annie, alone with only Capitol citizens for company. Then I remember how strong she is, how she really doesn't need my help.

I get dressed by my stylists, knowing full well how much they're enjoying it. My outfit is worse than I could have imagined. It's a net. Just a net, wrapped around me, only just concealing my private parts, although I should stop referring to them as that, everyone knows that no part of Finnick Odair is actually private.

"Alright, straight to the chariots, then."

"But what about Annie?" I ask them, confused about her whereabouts.

"She will be meeting you there." Without saying anything else, I walk away, followed by my stylists, into the limousine.

I'm uncomfortable in my net-thing, it exposes way too much for my liking. I just wish I could hide somewhere. All too soon, we arrive at the parade center. I head out of the limo thinking that, if I have to wear this net, I should use it to my advantage, like I did in the Games.

I walk into the familiar room where the chariots are kept. I look through the victors, trying to find Annie, with no luck. She's nowhere to be seen. I look at the horses and notice piles upon piles of sugarcubes. I decide to eat a few, then go have some fun. I look through them again, trying to find a victim. Finally, I spot Katniss, looking uncomfortable and a little scary in her outfit.

"Hey Katniss." I greet her.

"Hello, Finnick." She answers. I get close to her, breathing on her neck.

"Do you want a sugarcube?"

She looks like she wants to jump out of her skin. I chuckle and move forward, keeping her nose inches from mine. I've learnt through my experiences that women like when you get so close, which is the exact reason why I know Katniss won't.

"No thanks, but I would like to borrow that outfit someday."

"You look pretty terrifying in that getup. What happened to all the pretty little girl dresses?"

"I outgrew them."

"You certainly did…" I give her my flashiest of smiles, the one that I give the cameras. Hey, shame about this Quell thing. You know, you could have made out like a bandit in the Capitol: jewels, money, anything you wanted." Now I just want to give her a hint about what I'm forced to do, maybe warn her.

"Well I don't like jewels and I have more money than I need. What did you do with all your wealth anyway?" She doesn't show any signs of understanding. I've never gotten paid by money, anyway. I believe that there is something more valuable than money.

"I haven't dealt with anything as common as money in years."

"Then how do people pay for the pleasure of your company?" This blow strikes me hard. How do people pay? For me? For my body?

"With secrets. What about you, Girl on Fire? Any secrets worth my time?" I have to get back to intimidating her. It's working.

"I'm an open book, everybody always seems to know my secrets before I know them myself." Oh, how true that is. An idea comes to me.

My eyes hover over a small figure, curled in a corner of the room. I walk away, trying to get to the figure. When I get closer I see that my fears came true. Annie is huddled in the corner, grabbing her legs to her chest in a self-protecting gesture.

"Annie? What's wrong?" She doesn't answer me, but her eyes speak for her.

"Annie, stand up." She shakes her head violently. "Annie, I need you to stand up, now. Please." Slowly, she gets up, and I gasp. I'm going to kill Louis. I'm going to kill him.

Annie is dressed in a golden net, same as mine. It barely covers her, though. Almost all of her chest is exposed, and there is almost no netting below her hip. She covers herself protectively, trying to hide herself.

This is wrong, oh this is so wrong.

I run to where Louis is, and I can feel my face getting red. Annie is right behind me, running as fast as she can in her outfit.

"Louis! You get her out of that costume, now! It's not her job to be exposed, is it? It's mine! So get her changed!" I yell. He looks terrified.

"How am I supposed to do that? There are no more costumes."

"Well then cover her up for Christ's sake!" Louis looks so scared he takes some netting and wraps it around her a few times, covering a little bit more of her skin. He keeps wrapping her until I'm satisfied, and then leaves in a hurry.

I help Annie to the chariot, for the show is about to start. The doors open slowly and I only have time to whisper something to her before we leave.

"Annie, no matter what you see, no matter what I say, please remember I love you and only you-" I don't finish because the carriages start moving. I want to shut my eyes to the light, but I have to show everyone the pretty, pretty color of my eyes. I see the signs that say things about me and the only thing keeping me going is the light touch of Annie's hand on mine when she shifts to change position.


	7. Chapter 7

Annie

"This is what you have to wear, Annie, I'm sorry. You look beautiful, though."

I look in the mirror and frown deeply at the horrible net that only covers the smallest of things so I'm not technically naked. I want to start crying because I know this is what Finnick feels like all the time. I'm disgusted and extremely uncomfortable. Louis pushes me into the room, but as soon as he's gone, I run to a corner and shrink, protecting myself from the views of others. I try to look for Finnick, for once in my life hoping that he doesn't see me. He'll get angry and I hate to see Finnick angry at anyone.

I spot him walking towards me and my eyes widen. His outfit is worse than mine. It doesn't cover anything at all, only so much as a thin layer over his loin. _Finnick will help me, Finnick will help me, Finnick will help me._

"Annie, stand up." He commands with a stern voice. I shake my head, not wanting him to see. What if he thinks I'm as bad as the capitol women? I couldn't stand that. He asks a few more times until I finally gain to courage to get up. He looks me over with his sea-green eyes. They look disgusted and I shrink back again. I disgust him, I disgust him, I disgust him. He turns around and runs away to where Louis is. I run after him because I can't stand being alone and half-naked in a room full of people I don't know, who are also going to try to kill me.

"Louis! You get her out of that costume, now! It's not her job to be exposed, is it? It's mine! So get her changed!" Finnick yells. Louis looks like he might have a heart attack. I feel bad for him, but the quicker I'm dressed, the better.

"How am I supposed to do that? There are no more costumes!" Louis explains.

"Well then cover her up for Christ's sake!" Louis is so afraid he takes some golden netting from nearby and wraps it around me repeatedly until finally Finnick tells him to leave. He then turns to me and, in a much more gentle voice, starts talking to me. "Feel better now, love?"

"Finnick, you're not supposed to call me that in public." I remind him.

"Oh, these people know that is they say a word, they will be the first to go down." His words send a shiver up my spine. He puts his arm around me protectively and leads me to the chariot.

The doors open and, even with the extra netting, I feel uncomfortable. As soon as we come out, I hear the immediate cheers for my lover.

"Finnick! Finnick! Finnick!" I just smile and wave, like Finnick told me to so many years ago.

I see President Snow, and I stop smiling. I give him the worst look I can manage, full of hate and loathing. I do it for Finnick too, because he's too busy smiling at women, and it's all I can do to keep from giving them that look too.

Snow looks down at Finnick and smiles. It's sly and insulting and I have to keep tears in again, this time not from sadness or embarrassment, but from anger. _I hate him, I hate him, I hate him_. I can't stop the tears and they flow down my cheeks. Finnick turns slightly to peek at me and he notices I'm crying. He can't say anything, but he looks worried. I hadn't realized I had been saying the words out loud until now.

"I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him…" I repeat over and over. Finnick looks down and then back up again at the crowd and I makes my heart break. It's what he does when he's in pain. He hides it then to show he's alright. Finally, we're enveloped by the darkness of the big room. Finnick gets off the horse and helps me down. We walk to the center in silence. Finally, we lay down on our bed and just let the tears flow. _Be strong, be strong, be strong;_ I tell myself _. I can't, I can't, I can't. I can't be strong, I'm weak. Finnick is wrong. I'm not strong enough for this, but I have to keep fighting, I have to keep going._

"I wish we were dead." He tells me.

"That's not the answer to our problems, Finnick. We have to fight them, it's like swimming. We can't let them drown us." He closes his eyes and they stay closed for the rest of the night.

The next morning, Garcia doesn't wake us up because we don't have anything to do today. We can just relax. And by relax, I mean stay in bed all day, and pretend that we're at home. A hard knock to the head wakes me up fast. I see Finnick looming over me with a pillow in his hand, his eyes, like a child's, full of glee. You'd never think those eyes had been through so many tears.

I play with him, though. I bring my lips to his and kiss him passionately while my hand travels to my pillow and, using the opportunity, I smack him with it. I roll out from underneath him and hit him again. It takes him little time to counterattack, though. He hits me with his pillow as I bring mine down. We end up in a whirlwind of feathers with only the sounds of laughter in our ears.

Finally, Finnick is too tired to continue.

"You win."

"Of course I do." His tone turns serious for a moment, though. A little hopeful maybe, too.

"Can you imagine a life where it could be like this every day? A life with no Games?"

"If we survive this, if we find a way…"

"Annie, we will survive this. I will never let you die. Annie, believe me, I have a plan, I just can't tell you." Chills go through my body, but I have to trust him. If there is ever a reason for withholding information, it must be good. "After this, we'll get married. You'll look beautiful in your wedding gown, and everyone will be jealous of your beauty and I will be the luckiest man on earth. It will be the moment when Panem knows that I only love one person and that is you. We'll have little kids too, and we'll take care of them and they will grow up to love as we love, only freely. I'd do anything so that our children are able to love who they want to love when they want to love them."

Two days later…

"Wake up! Your mentors are here and you have to prepare for the interviews!" I sit straight up, trying not to scream again. Finnick is gone.

I remember now that he had two clients to see tonight. I struggle out of bed and get dressed. The door opens suddenly and Finnick comes in, looking very bedraggled.

"I don't want to talk about it." He tells me after a long kiss.

"I's ok." He does that sometimes, tell me that he doesn't want to talk. It's too hard for him to.

"I wonder who our mentors will be…"

"Mags?!" I ask him excitedly.

"I hope not." We rush out of the room, running through the hallways. I almost knock into Gabriela and Finnick almost knocks Triton down.

"Hey!" Triton exclaims, trying to regain his balance.

"We need to talk." Finnick says, suddenly, looking at Gabriela and Triton. They follow him into another room and I'm left alone. Garcia enters the room, looking evilly beautiful in one of her weird fish outfits.

"Where's Finnick?" She asks, pouting slightly.

"He left to tell our mentors something."

"And he's not telling you?" She smiles and I start to worry. She's making me feel bad on purpose and I know I can't let her.

"He'll be back…"

"And how should you know?"

"Be-because he told me." She starts laughing in a very cruel way. "I've seen the way you look at him. I've seen the way you act when he's close. You think he loves you, you think you matter. You don't. You're as insignificant as all those people who think the Capitol can be brought down." Wait a minute… what people?

"Who wants to bring the Capitol down?" She turns around to leave and just before she shuts the door, she says:

"No one, the thing is, you think Finnick loves you. He doesn't. In fact, he only loves me." I hear the door slam and everything fades away.


	8. Chapter 8

Finnick

"So that's the plan? Get Katniss out?" Triton asks.

"And Annie." I tell them, reassuring, not only them, but myself as well. I swear, if they don't get her out in time…

"Come on, she'll be missing you." Gabriella says, winking, luckily in a friendly way, or I would have given her a black eye.

I walk out of the room, followed by my mentors. I stop walking the second I see Annie, standing still, her eyes empty.

"Annie?" I walk closer to her, then take her shoulders and try to look into her eyes, trying to find her in the endless sea of green. "Oh well, you two can go now. This might take a while." I tell them. They leave and I sit in front of Annie. _Oh, she's so beautiful, even when she's Away._

I walk around the room, trying to wait until Annie gets Back. I think about what could have possibly triggered her reaction. _It could have been anything here._ I walk past a bouquet of flowers of different beautiful colors. I pick the one that's closest to Annie's eye color and walk to her. I move her hair behind her ear and place the flower there. And then I do what I always do when she Leaves. I wait for my love to return.

Three hours later…

"Finnick? Finnick, love, wake up." I hear a soft voice call. I open my eyes but it's still dark. At least I can still see Annie, standing over me, looking peaceful.

"I'm up, Annie." Something changes in her eyes and she looks in deep thought. That thought seems to be hurting her a lot, and if anything is hurting my Annie, I want to know.

"What's wrong?"

"It was Garcia. She- she told me that you didn't love me. She told me you only loved her. I didn't want to believe her, but it was still hurtful." She doesn't cry, but her voice trembles.

I hate her. I hate Garcia almost as much as Snow. But everyone already knows that, or at least Annie does, and she's everyone to me.

"Let's go to bed and I'll show you just how much I love you."

We made love that night. Garcia was sleeping in her apartment today. It was beautiful, but now I'm close to sleeping and she fell hours ago.

 _The next day…_

"Come on! Time to talk to your mentors!" Garcia tells me as I walk down the hall. It's true, tomorrow are the interviews and we need to decide what to say. It's not like I'm going to be playing anything else than what I already am, the Capitol sex god.

"So Triton, what should I do?" I ask him, as if I don't know already. I never really liked Triton that much. He always seemed too untouched by the Games. He was a volunteer when he was 18. Over the years I got used to him, and he became sort of like an uncle for me, one that never visited except for when it was your birthday. Gabriella was a bit better. She was never my favorite, either. She lacked the sweetness that Mags had but she cried as much as I did when I won my Games. We sort of bonded over the fact that Mags was our mentor, though. Gabriella doesn't care for Mags the same way I do. Mags is like a mother to me, but she cares about her, nonetheless.

"I'll do the same thing as the last Games, remember? You were somebody else's mentor, then."

"Yeah, I remember. So you're going to go with the whole 'I'm Finnick Odair and I'm the best and all the girls love me', angle."

"If I have to."

"You need to practice then. You're not like the rest, you can't improvise."

"You remind me of Gabriella when I told her about my first client."

"She offered to practice?" The memory is the main reason why I like her. I look away, though, because the memory is a really sad memory that I really don't want to relive.

"She didn't want me to lose my virginity to Garcia."

"You declined?"

"Of course I did."

 _The next day, in the interview hall…_

"First off, Cashmere and Gloss! District 1's glorious brother and sister!" Cesar exclaims, presenting the two Victors. I feel sorry for them. They are perhaps the only Victors whose fate was as bad, or worse, as mine. The worst part is: Cashmere is a darling when she wants to, and Gloss isn't as mean as he looks. They only have each other, too. They were prostituted, same as I am, only their way is different. The Capitol citizens like to watch pleasurable things almost as much as experiencing them and, both Victors being gorgeous, they found a way to watch exactly what they wanted. They're forced to… do it… only with each other. It's as cruel as or crueler than what they do to me.

Anyway, seemingly unaware of their situation, Cesar continues with the questions.

Cashmere starts crying at one point and, although most of it is fake, I can see those are real tears. Gloss simply keeps talking about the honor that the Games bring, but he's broken. He was broken by the Games as much as we were. I decide to make a list of people that were broken by the Games.

Annie

Me

Mags

Annie's family

My mother

Gabriella

Cashmere

Gloss

And those are just a few of the people that have been hurt by the Games…

It's Enobaria's turn now. She talks about the glory of the Games, not using the strategy that most Victors had agreed on. We were supposed to try to stop the Games. If they had told me to go out and fuck Cesar, I would have. It's not like it would be the first time. Sadly, I'm useless in the talking sense. I can't convince the citizens with much more than my face.

Brutus goes by, talking about the same awful ideals as Enobaria. Beetee goes by and talks about the legality of the Quell. He does defend the fact that it should stop, with scientific reasoning. Wiress just sits there through the three minutes. I almost cry because she has the same faraway look as my Annie and I can tell that she's thinking about things that no one understands. I know I must add her and Beetee to my list; they've suffered as much as anyone.

Annie

Me

Mags

Annie's family

My mother

Gabriella

Cashmere

Gloss

Beetee

Wiress

"And now, Panem's hottest bachelor: Finnick Odair!" The words ring in my head as I walk to the stage, too conscious of my exposed chest. _Bachelor, bachelor, bachelor, bachelor, bachelor…. I should be married, I should be married to Annie._

"Hello, Cesar." I tell him, shaking his hand.

Something clicks in my mind, and idea, a simple thought that could work, something straight from the bottom of my heart that would certainly please the crowd. I whisper my idea to Cesar, who acts professionally even after having bought me once.

"I believe that you have a message for somebody out there, a special somebody…"

"That's right."

"Then please proceed."

I think of all the good things, all the things we deserved but didn't get. I think about how I really feel about her, about my undying love for her, and I put it into words.

"My love,

You have my heart,

For all eternity.

And if I die in that Arena,

My last thought will be of your lips."


	9. Chapter 9

The interviews go by in a blur of words and phrases. I can barely keep count of how many Victors, _well, tributes_ , have gone by. Then its Finnick's turn. He squeezes my hand, looks at me sadly, then gets up and walks away. I don't watch him go, instead I turn my head to the other side. My eyes widen at the familiar person beside me, who clearly isn't either of the Victors from 5.

"Mags?" I ask, surprised. A split second after, Mags disappears, and I'm left facing a confused-looking woman. She's not Mags, any more than Finnick is. I rub my eyes, as if trying to figure out what had just happened. I decide not to dwell upon it much, even though she looked so- _real_. Instead, I turn my attention back to Finnick and Caesar.

"I believe you have a message, for somebody out there, a special somebody. Isn't that right?"

"That's correct." _What?! What is he doing?!_

"Then please proceed." My heart starts beating fast. He could get us killed, and yet, I'm too intrigued to possibly interrupt.

"My love,

You have my heart,

For all eternity.

And if I die in that Arena,

My last thought will be of your lips."

Oh, God. I'm crying now. I don't know why I'm crying since its obvious the people loved it. _What people? Why do they have to love it?_ I think. I can't seem to remember just where I am or why. I start getting a little scared. I feel an extreme unease until I finally remember that we're in the Capitol. That doesn't exactly make me feel any better, though.

His words start flooding my ears. He's so sweet. He's too good for this awful world.

Then the time is up and he takes his place on the platform where the Victors who have already spoken reside.

"And now, the lovely Victor from District 4; Annie Cresta!" I get up, my hands shaking. Someone gets in front of me and quickly wipes something off my face.

"Crying with mascara… What were you thinking?" I believe it was Rosalie, but she died ages ago. _Died ages ago? No, Rosalie is still alive._

I shake the thoughts from my head and walk up to the stage.

"Hello, Annie!" Caesar exclaims, using his awfully loud voice. I try to look at the audience, but I'm blinded by the bright lights, that, after all these years, are still there to blind me. "Annie, I think we're all wondering; how is your family?" I look at him, memories rushing back. Mounts of shining red hair and huge green eyes looking up at me with adoration and a kindly pat on my back and a motherly hug that went missing far too soon.

"They're dead. All of them. They drowned. All professional swimmers and they drowned." _Come on, I have to Stay. I can't Leave now, mid-interview. Come on. I can do it._

"Oh, well. How unfortunate…" I blink back tears. _Come on, I can't cry now. I have to keep going._

"Yes." I whisper. "It was very unfortunate."

"Well, let's move on to something nicer, shall we? How about… Finnick Odair?" I draw in a breath. What if they found out? We would die in the Arena… "Last time, he was your mentor. Now, he's your partner. How does that make you feel?"

"Insecure. I mean, without him getting me food, how would I not starve?"

I take this as an opportunity to look back at him. I hope he's getting the meaning of what I said. I don't depend on him for food, but I need his care and love and caution, just like he needs mine.

His face is completely expressionless.

"That's very true, but now you'll have a different mentor and I'm sure he or she is going to feed you well." Oh, god. How embarrassing. I'm making a fool of myself. "Now, onto the question I believe we're all thinking; what do you think of going back to the Games?"

How do I answer something like this? I think about the other Victors, and finally decide to speak my mind –with a smaller number of curse words, of course-.

"I don't think you know how this feels, do you? Going into the Games. You don't know what it's like to face your worst fears, watch your friends die before your eyes, and kill people. Killing others, it takes away a part of you; a part of your soul. Seeing the life leave the eyes of innocent children, who were as terrified as you, and knowing that it's your fault… you don't know how that feels. You cannot imagine what it's like to befriend someone, only to watch a spear go through their chest and have them say their last words to you, not to their family like it should be, but to you, because there is no one else around to listen to them. Having their blood on your hands. And now, I speak for the mothers and fathers and siblings, the loving families of tributes who could only watch as their loved ones were carried away. How would you like it if someone took your child, your little baby, who was supposed to bloom and grow, and have him killed for other people's amusement?!" Women in the crowd have started crying by now, and I enjoy it. I enjoy watching tears fall from their eyes as they stroke their children's hair. "And finally, being the tribute who has to live through all of that, and getting out of the Arena with that little bit of humanity you have left vanishing. And, once you're out, you find everything you fought for is a lie! And now you're making us live though all of that again?! And you enjoy it! You think this is a game! You should be ashamed…" Then, curtly, I stand up and walk down the stage to join Finnick and the others. I finally allow tears to fall as I grab Finnick's hand. I glance at him and I can tell that he's proud in the way he glances at me too. The people applaud and applaud and applaud, but all I hear is Finnick whispering:

"It's ok, Annie. You can let go now…"


	10. Chapter 10

Finnick

"It's ok, Annie. You can let go now." I say to her. I make soothingly rub my thumb over her hand as it goes slack, telling me that she's gone. Her speech was beautiful and terrifying and it made even me shiver. I had done the best I could do not to cry because it was simply so true. And I'm so impressed. She was so strong. Her voice was steady, and she didn't cry or whimper like I know she wanted to. Instead, she faced the people who traumatized her and killed her friends and then call her crazy, and she told them how awful they were. And, I think that if there is a little stray bit in those people that makes them human, she made them feel bad.

I silently watch people give their interviews. Some of them were sentimental, and some of them were strong, and all of them spoke out against the Games. People cried and people laughed and they gasped and it's all a little game inside their heads. But in their heart of hearts, if they even have them anymore, they felt bad when Peeta gave his interview.

"In fact, I wouldn't have any regrets at all, if it… if it wasn't…"

"If it wasn't for what, Peeta?"

"If it wasn't for the baby." If I hadn't known that Peeta was supposed to make something up, I would have been terrified. I suppose Katniss is 'pregnant' now, which will only make it harder to survive as allies. Oh well.

"How didn't we think of that?" Annie asks under her breath. I let out a short chuckle and she grips my hand harder. I suppose she's Back now. Thank God the interviews are almost over.

Finally, Peeta comes up after the commotion of the fake baby. Once there, he grabs Katniss's hand, who grabs the tribute from 11's, who grabs his partner's, and so on until someone grabs my hand and Annie grabs Beetee's hand and after a short time, all the Victors are united. I would be a fool to think that this would affect us in the Arena, but it feels nice to know that there are more people out there who have been through the same things. Then, all holding hands, we lift our arms into the air in unison as if to say: _We are united_.

The crowd goes crazy and we hear shouts of 'stop the Games!' It will never work, but we can hope. If there is anything Snow has taught me in the past 5 years, it's that hope is stronger than fear.

Later that day….

I sit on the bed next to Annie, finally resting my legs after a long day. I put my arm around her and we sit there, hoping no one will come in.

"I need a shower." I tell her after some time. I get up and walk to the bathroom, getting a bad feeling about leaving Annie alone. _She has been alone before. She's strong,_ I tell myself. Still, I can't shake the feeling of dread.

When I walk out she is curled up in a ball on the floor and is visibly shaking.

"Finnick? Is that you or not?" I go to her, but she moves away.

"Annie, what's wrong?"

"You are the third Finnick I have seen walking out of there, but you are the first one that is alive."

"What? What are you talking about?" I'm so confused. What is wrong with her?

"Finnick…" Her eyes are big and afraid as she looks around the room and finally at me. "… I can't tell what is real anymore."

"I'm sorry? What do you mean?!" The truth starts dawning on me but I try to ignore it.

"You remember how before, I had nightmares and I went Away and I saw things? I knew they were just visions the moment I woke up. But now… I see dead tributes under the bed and blood on the curtains and my very memories are different. So much blood…"

 _This is bad_ , I think. _This is very bad._

 _If she is in the Arena and she starts seeing things…_

 _And she is suffering so much. I can't possibly imagine what it must be like to not be able to distinguish between the real and the fake. I need to help her, but how?_

"We will get through thi-"

"Mags!" What?

Annie is looking at something on the floor, something I can't see.

"Where is Mags?"

"He-her head… on the floor."

"There is no one there, love." It hurts to see her in so much pain. _How can I help her?_

Suddenly, I have an idea.

"Simply ask me. Whenever you see something, or remember something strange. Ask me."

She nods and follows my instructions:

"Mags is dead. Real or not real?"

"Not real. She is safe and sound in District 4."

"Ok. We're in the Capitol. Real or not real?"

"Real. I'm so sorry, Annie." She looks sad, as if her worst fears have been realized.

"You don't have to be sorry." _But I do_. I didn't tell her about the rebellion.

 _A few days later…_

"Finnick! Wake up! It's your big day!" Garcia calls from the hall. Annie wakes up slowly, then runs into the bathroom when she hears the door opening. "Oh, is it wrong that I'm sad that you are leaving?" She asks dramatically.

"Look, I don't have time for this. I need to get ready…" She frowns. Uh-oh. "… Sweetie." I try to please her.

"Don't worry, I completely understand. You need to get ready. Bye!" She blows me a kiss and leaves. Annie comes out and I see she spent her time well. Her hair is brushed and her teeth and face are clean. She looks sad and in pain but I imagine I look just as bad.

We walk to breakfast holding hand and, not for the first time, I don't want to eat. Even though the Capitol's breakfast looks delicious, I would give anything to be back home.

The Games are today, after all.

I sip my coffee quietly, enjoying what might be my last sugarcubes. Last night, I arranged everything so that Annie and I could be alone at breakfast. At least I got this.

"Finnick? We are going to the Hunger Games. Real or not real?"

"Real."


	11. Chapter 11

Annie

This is it, then, I think as I slip into the Arena clothes. They are sort of like a wetsuit, which, with luck, will prove to our advantage. Just thinking about the Arena makes me shiver.

"Annie, what's wrong? Aren't you excited?" Louis asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine…"

"Alright, tributes! Get into your tubes! 5 minutes to go!" I can't, I can't, I can't.

The door bursts open and my Finnick rushes in like he knew exactly what I needed. He gave me a hug and a quick kiss before saying goodbye and rushing off to his room once again.

I turn on Louis.

"If you tell anyone of this, I will make sure that you are banished from the Capitol!"

I step into my glass tube and say goodbye to humanity. Images flash before my eyes of blood and death, of my memories in the Arena.

"Goodbye, Lewis…"

"Bye, Annie."

The tube starts going up, up, up, and I slowly go face my death.

The Sun, like the lights in my interviews all those years ago, is the first thing that I notice. Then I hear the waves. As my eyes get used to the light, I see a jungle and an island in the middle with the Cornucopia. I am completely surrounded by water, and I see that some of the other tributes are starting to panic. It can't be this easy.

I search the tributes desperately, trying to find Finnick. Finally, I spot him a few tributes away from me, but he can't see me.

"Finnick! Over here!"

He turns around, relieved. At that moment, the countdown begins. _Swim, swim, swim_ , I think. I need to swim. I should be terrified, but really, I just feel numb, like my mind is done with feeling things. I suppose I should prefer it this way.

"Five!"

"Four!"

I get in position to jump as I hear the countdown. I have to survive this, for Finnick and Cora and Arnav because they're all counting on me back home.

"Three!"

"Two!"

Oh wait, Cora and Arnav are dead…

"One!" I hesitate, thinking of the awful day when I found out about their death, but I snap back to reality and jump off the platform, into the salty water.

 _Swim, swim, swim…_

Finally, I reach the Cornucopia, and only Finnick is there with me.

I hug him quickly and go to get our weapons. I pick up a knife and try to look for food or backpacks, but I find nothing. The others are quickly coming to the Cornucopia, including Katniss.

"Annie, I need you to do something for me."

"Anything, Finnick." By now, Katniss was coming closer to us, scouting the weapons for a bow.

"Go and rescue Peeta." _Peeta? Is he supposed to be our ally?_ Finnick could see the confusion in my face because he reassured me immediately.

"Please, don't question it." He pleads. I jump in the water and swim to Peeta, who is frozen on his platform.

"Peeta! Jump!" For some strange reason, he trusts me, and he jumps in. I quickly grab his arms because you can tell from his movements that he doesn't know how to swim.

I carry him onto the island, ending tired from his heavy body. The first thing he does is kiss Katniss, and Finnick uses that moment to hold me under the pretense of whispering something:

"Annie, they are our allies and we have to help them at all costs, but if it means that saving them will endanger you, don't even think about it." Finally, he lets go, takes my hand, and starts running towards the jungle, with Katniss and Peeta trailing after us.

 _The Games have begun._

We run deep into the jungle, not stopping until we are sure no one is after us. Finally, we sit down to rest.

I look at my hand, the one holding the knife, and think: _Wow, how low have I sunk that I'm now carrying a weapon like it was nothing? Intending to kill?_

As if reading my thoughts, Finnick:

"There is a difference between carrying a weapon for fun and carrying a weapon for survival. You've done nothing wrong."

Then the realization struck me: I'm going to have to kill someone.

"I- I can't kill anyone, Finnick! Not again!" I try not to cry _. I can't, I can't, I can't_. I have to be strong for Finnick and our future children. Imaginary children that we will never have, but children nonetheless. _It's better to look forward to a lie than to dwell on past truths._

"I will make sure you won't hav-"

"Oh, really?! You can't kill anyone?! Remind me again why we are allied with them, Peeta?" The words sting and hurt my heart, but I know she is right. I wouldn't have allied with myself, either.

A wave of calm rushes over me and, all too late, I find out why. I try to stop it, but it's too late. I'm gone.

 _"_ _Come on, Annie! Push!" Cora tells me, looking at me proudly._

 _Finnick is holding my hand and I realize I'm squeezing it, hard._

 _"_ _It's almost out!" Someone says. I realize I'm in our room, back home, but it's full of machinery and people in white coats that I know to be doctors. They are all yelling senseless things at me as I struggle to do what they ask._

 _Suddenly, I get a burst of pain from my stomach. It isn't terrible, at first, but then it progresses into a horrible pain. Cora is reassuring me that everything will turn out alright._

 _After a while of reassuring words, pain, and a lot of pushing, I hear the small cries of a baby._

 _I finally relax. The pain is gone. Finnick looks so happy, oh, so happy, like he doesn't have a care in the world_.

 _A nurse puts my baby in my arms and I suddenly feel that I'm complete. I have everything. I have Finnick. I have Cora. I have my little boy._

 _"_ _Seadon. We'll call him Seadon."_

 _"_ _Seadon? Like my middle name?" Finnick asks, amused. I remember when we agreed that I would be the one to name the baby if it was a boy. Seadon. I love that name._

All of that fades away and I'm back in the horrors of the Arena. I am lying on the ground and its broad daylight. I hear arguing coming from my left and I turn to look at the people.

"I'm telling you! She hasn't been the same since her Games, but that doesn't make her any less a person! I thought someone like you would understand!" When Finnick sees me, he stops talking at once. Katniss and Peeta stare at me like I'm an alien, but I'm too used to those looks by now to be hurt.

"Come on. Let's get going." I say, trying to forget the way Katniss looked at me. I get up and start walking away, but I'm shortly followed by the rest. Finnick catches up to me and takes my hand, but I don't let him for long. _I just want to be alone right now._

"Are you ok, Annie?" He asks, sad that I didn't let him hold my hand. I'm mad at him, though. He chose our allies without me. And, what's worse, our allies think I'm deadweight.

I long for what I saw while I was Away, for that little baby in my arms and Finnick by my side.


	12. Chapter 12

Finnick

Annie doesn't usually have facial expressions when she is Away. This time is different. Five minutes ago, she looked like she was in pain. Now, she looks calm, if somewhat happy.

I wish, against my will, for her to remain like that forever, happy in ignorance. Sadly, she wakes up moments later. At first, her expression is confused, then sad, like all her hopes had been crushed, which they probably have been. I will never know what she sees or how it feels like to live in a different reality that could be whisked away from you at any moment. I just know it's hard.

She stands up and walks away, in a direction opposite to the beach, deeper into the jungle.

I catch up with her, feeling sorry for her. I try to hold her hand because that always calms her and maybe, this time it will work as well. She lets go and starts moving a little faster, leaving me sad and heartbroken. _She rejected me_ , I think. We have been together for years and she has never turned me down. _What must be wrong that makes it different?_

 _Oh, right. We are in the place of our nightmares with twenty-two people who want to kill us, and we know we won't both get out alive._

I think for a while, about maybe telling her of the plot. It's not that I don't trust her. It's that, if the mission fails, she will be tortured for information. My heart wrenches at the thought of the mission failing. _If anything goes wrong and they can't get her out in time…_

I catch up with her again and try to talk.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, just mad in general, or hasn't your little friend told you that yet?!" _Oh. This is about Katniss_.

I feel terrible with the realization. She is angry because I chose our allies without her, and on top of that, they call her crazy. I hate myself more than usual right now, and I just want to punch Katniss in the face.

"Listen, I had no choice!" I try.

"Oh, really?! You didn't have a choice?! Instead of helping each other survive, you got too caught up in playing allies, didn't you?! I know you don't need my help, Finnick, but I was expecting a little more from you!" I don't know what to do. Anger is not an emotion we are familiar with. I don't know how to deal with something I have never seen before.

"I guess I'm sorry, then."

"Ok." She doesn't say anything else after that. We walk in silence for a couple of hours.

Peeta goes ahead, slashing at the wilderness with his machete. He doesn't seem to get too tired, I suppose I underestimated him.

I try thinking of ways to get Annie to forgive me, but I know she has every right to be angry.

"Peeta, no!" At that same instant, we hear a blast and Peeta is blown backwards, knocking right into Annie. I run to help them, but Annie is already up and taking his pulse. Her eyes widen and I realize what just happened.

"He's not breathing! He's not breathing!" Katniss goes crazy, fretting over him her hand on his chest. She's crying, sobbing almost. I lock eyes with Annie like we had learned to do over the years. _You know what to do_ , she tells me.

We move at once. We are a team again. She manages to pull Katniss away. Katniss kicks at her but Annie doesn't let go. She knows I need time.

I go to Peeta and put my mouth over his, taking deep breaths and blowing air into his lungs. Finally, it dawns on Katniss that we're not trying to hurt Peeta. She relaxes into the older girl's arms and Annie lets her. After a lot of CPR, Peeta finally starts breathing. Katniss jumps out of Annie's arms and throws herself at Peeta.

"You were right, Annie." I whisper to her. "Katniss does love Peeta. Maybe she doesn't know that yet, but she loves him." I remember an argument we'd had long ago.

The Victory Tour was over and we were watching the recap. Annie hadn't believed me when I told her there were two victors, but she had refused to watch the Games. So, instead, we watched the recaps of the Tour. I told her that, rumor was, Katniss didn't really love Peeta. That is what I had believed. After half an hour of watching, Annie told me Katniss did love Peeta. She said that Katniss didn't know, but that, deep inside, she loved him. I disagreed.

Now, I've been proved wrong.

It seems that Annie has finally forgiven me. She takes my hand and we walk, giving the other two some privacy.

I sit with my back to a tree and Annie sits next to me with half of her body on mine. We just cuddle, something we haven't done for a long time, until the Sun sets. Then, we go back to where we left Katniss and Peeta. He is asleep with his head on her lap. She is fiddling with his hair, looking careless and calm for the first time since she got in the Arena.

"I hate to interrupt but it's time we make camp. Katniss, did you find anything to eat?"

"No. Just a rat. I don't even know if it's edible." She answers. At least she found something. Not much, but if I give my share to Annie, maybe she will not starve.

"How is the baby?" Annie asks. Katniss looks confused for a second, but she quickly covers it. I can tell Annie sees right through her, but it was kind of her to ask.

"He -or she- is fine." I look at Annie and realize she's not done asking. Maybe she wants to get back at Katniss. I don't know how she will do it, but she will.

I find out when they start talking about the baby. It seems Annie will never run out of questions, though. Katniss is starting to look worried, but Annie is having the time of her life. She looks at me smugly. _That's enough, love._

She seems to get the message.

She comes to me and says:

"I need to tell you something." She doesn't look worried, so I suppose it's not urgent. "How about Annie and I get first watch and you two sleep?"

"Seems fair." Katniss replies.

After they're asleep, Annie starts talking:

"This is about what I saw while I was Away."

"What did you see? You looked like you were in pain."

"I was, at first. Then it was wonderful." Her eyes shine as she tells me her dream. "I had a baby. Our baby. His name was Seadon and he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen."

"Could you describe him?"

"He was so tiny, with little chubby hands and feet. His eyes were grey like every other baby's, but I knew they would grow to be green. He had little to no hair and rosy skin. He looked like you, in a way. He was handsome and happy, and his eyes were full of joy. Do you think we'll ever have a baby like that, Finnick?"

"I don't doubt it."

"I'm tired."

"Sleep. I don't think Katniss will mind if I stay awake while you sleep."

"Good night." She looks like she wants to say more, but she turns around and closes her eyes. Five minutes later, she is asleep.

I think about our future and about Seadon. I want him so badly, and I can imagine Annie does, too.

 _Just when I thought Annie was out of surprises, she gives me yet another reason to keep fighting._

"Why is she asleep?" A voice asks from behind, interrupting my peaceful thoughts.

"She was tired. Don't worry, I stayed awake, Katniss."

I hear Katniss sigh in frustration.

"Your turn to keep watch, anyway. Are you going to wake Peeta?" I finally turn around to face her. She looks completely awake, like a huntress.

"Of course not. He almost died today."

"Yeah, you're welcome about that, by the way." I lie down next to Annie and close my eyes, thinking I could never sleep.

 _I was wrong._


	13. Chapter 13

Annie

"Run! Run! The fog is poison!" When I fully wake up, I am already standing. Finnick is gripping my arm as tightly as possible and he's starting to run, dragging me after him. I look around and see a grey fog coming closer. _It's poison_.

"Peeta!" I hear Katniss scream. Peeta can't run any more. He's out of breath. Katniss stops to help him get up, but the fog is catching up to them. Finnick drags me forward and, finally, Katniss gets Peeta up. Sadly, the fog gets to them. Suddenly, they start screaming and huge white blisters appear on their skin. We all run away, but Katniss is having trouble holding up Peeta. Finnick is still leading me on, so I turn around to check on the other couple. At that moment, I trip on a twig and fall to the ground. Finnick keeps running, unaware that I'm not following him.

"Finnick!" I scream. He stops and turns to look at me, but at that moment, the fog catches up to me. I am blinded by pain. It's as if my muscles are on fire and everything is that horrible fog. I scream and scream because it hurts and I can't get up. My legs don't work. I hear more screaming, but this time, it isn't me. I'm getting lifted up.

The little energy I can muster, I use to hold on to my rescuer. After a few trips and a lot of pain, we are out of the fog. Finnick, who was obviously the one to come back for me, is carrying me through the jungle.

I try not to cry, but fail. The tears burn the blisters on my cheeks so badly I want to scream. I stop crying as soon as I am able to. I turn my head to check on Katniss and Peeta. They are right behind us. Katniss is practically carrying Peeta, though, and she doesn't look so good, either.

Finnick trips over a rock and we tumble down a hill. We hold on to each other until we hit the ground. Katniss and Peeta tumble after us.

When I get up, I notice we are in a clearing with a lake, only a few yards away from the beach.

"Finnick?" I point to the water, but he doesn't lift his head. He just lies on the ground, still.

I check his pulse. His heart is beating. I put my hand on his chest. He's still breathing.

My whole body hurts, but I make myself walk over to Katniss and Peeta. They're awake, but I can see they're in pain. At least they're not unconscious.

Next, I decide to go to the little lake. I reach to touch the water with my hand, but the second my hand makes contact with the water, it feels like there is a fire. I force myself to keep my hand in the water. I don't know why. Maybe it's a way of proving to myself that I'm not weak.

After a few seconds, the pain stops and, in its place, I feel pleasure, as if the poison is leaving me. I look at the water. It's turning white, slowly. I rub my hand because the blisters are staring to disappear. I realize the fog is actually coming out and mixing with the water.

I submerge myself in the water. At first, the pain is blinding, especially in my stomach region, but then I feel the relief that accompanies the poison leaving my body. When it's all out, I run back to the others, who are moaning on the floor, covered in blisters. Finnick isn't even conscious yet. Thank goodness. If he was, he would be screaming and we would be found.

I help Katniss get up first, against my will, which tells me to help Finnick. I help her down, whispering soothing words to her. She doesn't scream when she gets in, but her face shows the pain I had felt. She stays in the water after the pain has faded, instead of helping me with Peeta. I drag Peeta in after her. I struggle with him because he is heavy, but we make it. He lets out a little moan or two, but it's not loud enough for the others to hear him. I leave him in the water as well, and practically run to Finnick's aid. I carry him as gently as possible to the lake, hoping he stays unconscious as I clean away the poison.

The second he touches the water, he opens his eyes. They look wild and afraid and in pain. I put his whole body in the water and he starts screaming. It's hurting him a lot.

I try to hear past his screams in case anyone else comes, and Katniss has already gotten up. Instead of checking the perimeter, as she should, she comes over to us looking angry.

"Get him out! He's going to attract Careers!" She yells at me. _Didn't I just save her life_?

Anger boils up inside me. She is asking me to stop Finnick's healing! He needs it and who does she think she is to tell me to stop?!

"Listen, sweetie. I don't give a fuck about the fact that you're pregnant, so don't you dare say anything about Finnick! Got it?!" I snap. Katniss looks taken aback. She is surprised by my outburst, as am I. Sadly, she got between me and Finnick and I am not letting that happen. Luckily, she has the sense to turn around and walk away.

"Peeta, go get some water." She tells him sharply.

Suddenly, Finnick stops screaming and his muscles relax. He leans into me, closing his eyes. I stroke his hair lovingly, the way I know to from years of crying and nightmares.

I move to rub the poison out of him. He hisses in pain once in a while, but he is getting better fast. _That's my Finnick_ , I think, _he can get through everything_.

Katniss walks away as Finnick sits up, looking much better than before. We all still have ugly scars from the poison, but they are already fading.

"Thanks, lov-Annie." He almost said it. If the cameras caught that...

"It's ok."

Suddenly, Katniss goes still, as if she's paralyzed. I follow her eyes and see a huge _animal_. I don't know what it is, but it is most definitely a mutt. It moves too fast and it's too big to be a normal creature. More come out of the jungle, surrounding us. I look over to one side and see the sea.

"We need to get to the beach."

"Peeta. Come over here slowly." Katniss says.

Peeta turns around too fast and the mutts start moving aggressively, following him back to the group while making strange sounds.

The mutts are too close now. They are baring their teeth at us, looking threatening. I accidentally turn and look at one in the eyes, and that seems to wake him up. He jumps at me, ready to tear me apart. I bring up my knife and sink it in his stomach before he can get the chance to. I kick him away as another one comes, and all I can concentrate on is keeping myself alive. I don't see Finnick fight and I don't see Katniss shoot her arrows, or Peeta stabbing at them with his machete. I don't even notice the pain in my stomach.

I stab mutt after mutt, slowly moving closer to the beach. When my feet finally touch the sand, I run. I run toe the waterline. Surprisingly, the mutts don't follow.

Finnick joins me quickly, guarding us with his trident. A mutt is about to hurt Peeta when Katniss turns to shoot it. Then a lot of things happen at once: A mutt pounces at Katniss, ready to take her down, Peeta runs to Katniss, knowing he won't make it in time, and something, _someone_ , jumps out from behind a tree and throws herself between Katniss and the mutt. The mutt sinks his teeth into her chest and she screams out in pain. Finnick is already there with his trident, killing the beast, but the damage is done. He picks up the limp human form and carries her to the water.

I take a closer look at her. She's a Morphling, from District 6. Her breaths are short and uneven. _She's dying_.

"No." I whisper _. I can't bear to watch anyone else die in front of me, not again_. She is floating peacefully in the water now, and Peeta and Katniss are taking care of her, but I can _see_ the life leave her eyes slowly. Tears blur my vision, luckily blotting out the worst part. I am lightly aware of Finnick holding me as I sink to my knees. _I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this_.

I break out into quiet sobs, even though she is probably gone by now. Then the quiet sobs turn into louder sobs as the pain in my stomach kicks in. I double over, consumed by the pain. The cramps are bad, but they are made twice as bad by the crying. I can't think of a solid reason why I'm having them, though.

 _What is happening to me?_

I can't tell how much time has gone by, but all of a sudden, the cramps stop.

I lay on the ground, breathing hard, trying to recover as fast as I can. I struggle to get up, feeling exhausted. Nevertheless, I get up and try to look as strong as possible.

Suddenly, we hear cries coming from the other side of the jungle. I spot a huge wave coming from there, and stifle a scream.

"Move back!" Yells Finnick, panicked.

"It won't reach us." I say, surprising myself at my own calm.

And, as a matter of fact, it didn't.

I hear a cannon blast and turn to Finnick, worry coursing through my veins. He looks alright, if somewhat startled.

We see a hovercraft approach to get the body and I know that if I look I will break down again and I can't do that again. I feel Finnick take me hand and lead me towards the water, turning me away from the hovercraft. Our wetsuits are slightly ruined, but I just don't care anymore. I let the water soak me up to my knees.

It would be so easy to pretend we're in District 4, now, with the waves and the sand and the breeze. But I can't let myself go.

I don't know how long we stay looking out to the water and the cornucopia, because time passes differently in the Arena, but I know it was at least an hour.

I start to hear voices and I think: _Oh, no. I'm leaving…_

But my surroundings looked the same, even though the familiar voices grew louder.

Finnick's hand leaves mine and I brace myself for the falling feeling that comes when I Leave. But it never comes.

"Annie!" Finnick calls.

I turn around and see Finnick, Katniss, and Peeta, but they're not alone. They're talking to three figures, covered in red. The red is sickening and I realize why: It's all blood.

Then I fall, fall, fall.


	14. Chapter 14

Finnick

"Finnick!" I hear someone call. It's not Annie, who is standing right beside me. I turn around, but at first I don't see anyone. Then, I see three red dots in the distance.

"Finnick! Katniss!"

"Peeta!"

"Finnick! Annie!"

It turns out, the three dots are people. Johanna, Wiress, and Beetee, to be exact.

I let go of Annie's hand and run to them. Then, I get close enough to see why they're all red. _They're covered in blood_.

The realization hits me and I turn around fast, but it's too late. She saw them. _She's_ _Gone_.

"You can handle them?" I ask Peeta. He nods and I head back to the water and to Annie.

She's got that faraway look in her eyes that she gets when her brain decides it's too much and it takes her away.

"Annie? Annie, come back. Everything's safe. You don't need to Go." I try.

Her eyes become more focused and pride swells in my chest. She's getting better at Coming Back. She's getting stronger.

"The- the blood…" she mutters.

"It's not theirs. Now, I don't want you to break down. Do you think you can see them again? Could you stand it?" She looks at me dead in the eyes and nods firmly.

I take her hand and lead her to Johanna and Beetee. Katniss seems to be washing Wiress in the water. Wiress has the Look. Her eyes look like Annie's. She's in her own world, swimming in her past. I wonder who she is seeing. I wonder I they're still alive.

"What happened to you?" Johanna asks, mockingly.

"Nothing. She's fine." I tell her, gritting my teeth. Annie has gone extremely pale. She is looking at the blood that covers Johanna.

"I asked her." She says. Anger boils inside me. _Why does she have to make fun of her?! Why do people have to hurt her?! Can't they see she's been hurt enough?!_

Annie backs up slowly.

"N. I was wrong; I can't see it. I'm going to break." She whispers. She turns and walks to the beach. She's not screaming, but her shoulders are shaking.

She sits down at the edge of the water and hugs her knees. I'm close enough to see her little body shake with sobs.

I run to her, shooting one more dirty look at Johanna before leaving. She actually looks ashamed. _And she should be._

I sit down beside her and put one arm around her shoulders, but I don't say anything. There is nothing to be said.

"So much blood…"

"I know, Annie. I know."

"Like the blood on Carolina and Tyson and Johnathan…" She says, her voice cracking.

I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Can I try?" Asks Wiress.

"Is that ok?" I ask Annie.

"Yes," she whispers.

I reluctantly let go of Annie and walk back up the beach to the rest of the team.

"Finnick! We found out the Arena is a clock!" Peeta tells me excitedly. "Wiress figured it out!" I smiled.

"This means we won't be in much danger when it comes to the Gamemakers' scheduled traps." Beetee added.

"Good." Johanna says. Nice to have something to agree on.

"I'm going to go tell the other girls." I say, turning to walk to Annie and Wiress. They seem to be talking happily. _I'm glad_. "Hey, Annie!" I call. She looks much happier than she was before, though.

"Wiress was just telling me about the technology at 3! It's really interesting, actually." She tells me.

"Yes; I was describing the technical properties of the sonic screwdriver we invented a few months ago."

"Finnick! Can I talk to you?" Someone calls. It's Katniss.

I take one last look at Annie and Wiress and start walking to Katniss. We move away from the others, to another side of the beach.

"How does she stand it?" She asks me as we sit down.

"Who?" I ask.

"Annie. How does she stand all those people? Why are they all against her?" It's a good question. One that I've been asking myself for five long years.

"I don't know. It's hard for her, but she is getting better. She's getting stronger. Her doctors after the Games told me she's never recover. She has severe post-traumatic stress disorder. Too much for even a psychologist to fix." Annie, of course, doesn't know she's not supposed to get better. So she is.

"I admire her. She doesn't know, of course," she looks at me "and she won't, understand?" I nod. "This is between us, and between us only." She stands up, then leaves. I smile. She just made it a little bit easier to protect her.

"Finnick! Johanna says we need to go to the Cornucopia before it's too late and the Careers come!" Annie calls, coming over. I take a moment to appreciate how beautiful she looks, even in her Arena clothes, with her hair flying in the wind like fire. Her eyes don't look as bright as they usually do, in 4, but they look like little oceans of green. Her skin doesn't tan; it never does, but she has more freckles than she did before, in the Capitol.

She takes my hand and leads me to the others. Then, we begin walking to the Cornucopia. There are no Careers in sight, for now. I just hope that lasts.

I grab my trident, feeling its wonderful power, then we start walking. I keep a close eye on Annie. I can see, though, that she is starting to learn how to take care of herself. Usually, she is too busy battling her inner demons to care about her outside enemies.

She is holding her knife and looking around. I can start to see the little innocence I had always treasured start to disappear from her eyes.

We walk quietly, just in case. Then, Wiress starts singing. It's soft and I doubt anyone will hear anyway, but it makes me uncomfortable. However, if it helps her to sing, I want her to sing as much as she needs.

I grab a couple of spare tridents, just in case. I hear something, then. And then I don't hear anything. At all.

Katniss gasps and I turn, just in time to see Wiress fall to the floor, dead. The adrenaline runs through me like blood and I thrust my trident at a disappearing Enobaria. Gloss and Cashmere are already dead. I don't let myself think about them. I just act. I fend off Brutus's attacks, until they choose to retreat. I'm about to let the sadness sink in, but then the Cornucopia starts spinning, faster, and faster. My feet slip from underneath me and I tumble down the side of the isle. I look around desperately for a blur of vibrant red as I struggled to hold on.

After countless minutes, the Cornucopia stopped spinning. I pull myself up to the rocks and lay there. I get up, remembering my role in the Games. Annie is sitting against the Cornucopia wall, shaking. Her eyes lack any emotion or recognition. She's Gone. Better for her.

Katniss has her arms around Peeta and, once more, I feel terribly jealous of them. They get to show public affection to each other. All I get to show affection to are a bunch of Capitol whores.

Johanna looks okay, searching for any weapons that could be left over and checking the perimeter. Beetee looks quite shaken, but that's normal. He just lost his best friend.

My head hurts a lot and it's hard to think straight. I just sit down next to Annie and finally let myself think.

 _They're dead_ , I think. _Cashmere and Gloss. My friends. We killed them._ _Wiress is dead, too. She died because of us. Don't cry. I can't be seen crying. Be strong. Don't break down. Annie needs me._

 _I need Annie._

Then, slowly, like magic, I feel a pair of slender arms around me shoulders. I turn right to face her and put my head on her shoulder, letting her hair tickle my face.

 _I can't be doing this. They will know. God, why am I so weak?_


	15. Chapter 15

Annie

The almost peaceful time we spent on the isle was cut short by the Careers. I barely had time to see Wiress's body fall. Then, Katniss's arrow lodged itself in Gloss's throat. I stifled a scream. Everything got blurry, fast. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Johanna hit Cashmere in the chest with her axe. Then, Enobaria and Brutus retreated.

I quickly find out that it was tears that had been clouding my vision. I blink them away just in time. The Cornucopia starts spinning faster, and faster, and faster. I fall and roll over the side. I'm about to fall to the water when I feel a strong hand grab my waist and steady me. At first, I think it is Finnick, but this arm is a lot bigger and stronger. _Peeta_.

When it's all over, I climb back up to the rocks. I quickly thank Peeta, then retreat to a side of the Cornucopia. I feel a cold feeling wash over me and hear the familiar voices of my loved ones, and I let them pull me away.

 _"_ _My, my, Annie! He sure is beautiful! You two did a good job!" Mags says, smiling up at Finnick and I. We're in our mansion in 4. I'm holding little Seadon in my arms. He's giggling, looking up at me with his father's eyes. I stroke the blonde curls that have just started to grow. He's going to look so much like Finnick when he grows up._

 _"_ _Thank you." Finnick says. He is so happy with the baby. Seadon and I are everything to him._

 _"_ _Could I hold him?" Mags asks._

 _"_ _Of course." I hand her my baby, who is still giggling. He loves his Grammy Mags._

 _I start to feel the familiar cold, and I think:_ No, don't take me away… I want to stay here…

But when I see the look on Finnick's face I know I'm needed in the real world.

I put my arms around him and comfort him, hiding my own tears _. He needs you, he needs you, he needs you_ , I tell myself.

I start to get dizzy, and I get pain in my stomach, much like the cramps I had gotten the day before. _I can't let Finnick know I'm in pain_.

"I'll be right back, Finnick." I whisper. I rush away and hide on the other side of the Cornucopia. There, I retch until there is nothing else left in me. My stomach still hurts and I am forced to lie on the ground, curled up in a ball.

I'm about to go back with Finnick when I hear the familiar sound of a parachute. I take the silver package with me, without opening it.

Finnick and I open the container, curious as to what Gabriella could have gotten me. It turns out to be a few bread rolls from home. Finnick counts them before I could take one, then leaves to find Beetee.

"You can have a couple, Annie, but we need the rest." He tells me as he walks away. Instead of questioning it, I take two rolls and stuff them in my mouth. The vomiting had left me hungry, and the rolls reminded me of home. After a while, Finnick comes back.

"It's not safe to stay here. Let's head back for the beach. We can sleep there. Besides, we really need to talk." He tells me, helping me up. Johanna, Katniss, Peeta, Beetee, Finnick, and I make camp by the shore.

When we're all finally settled down, Finnick and I take a walk to check the perimeter.

"Want to sit down for a few minutes?" He asks when we're out of hearing range. I'm already tired. I've noticed that, lately, I've been feeling more and more tired. It's probably just something to do with the Games, though. "How are you doing, Annie?" He says it as if it's completely normal, as if it is a normal day.

"Well, apart from the fact that we're stuck in and arena with dozens of other people trying to kill us, I'm fine." Before he could respond, the National Anthem starts playing. _God, I hate that song…_

That's when Wiress appears in the sky.

I had known it since the moment it happened, known it all along, but it never had truly hit me that _she's dead._

"She's dead, Finn-" My voice breaks as I remember her kindness to me. One of the few people who had it worse than me when it came to post-traumatic stress disorder.

He just hold me like I held him in the Cornucopia. He knows just what I need.

"There is a phrase, from one of the ancient languages of the world outside Panem that serves to honor the dead. My mother taught it to me: _Ave atque vale_. Hail and farewell." He tells me.

" _Ave atque vale_ , Wiress, Cashmere, Gloss…"

I stay with Finnick until I fall asleep.

 _That night, I see blood. I see pain. I see suffering. I see the beautiful laugh of a little angel that makes it all go away._


	16. Chapter 16

Finnick

"We have to do it tonight. That's what it said. The lightning will strike the tree and we'll electrify the water. That will be our signal." Beetee tells us. Katniss, Peeta, and Annie are sleeping. It's the perfect time to discuss the escape.

"Got it, but remember: she must be with her so they can leave together." I remind him.

"Yes, Finnick, we remember." Johanna says, rolling her eyes. But I had to make sure. She's my top priority. I'm not leaving this Arena without her.

I walk back down to wake up the rest. When they're up, we get going.

It's a long, tiring walk to the tree at one end of the Arena. This tree gets hit by lightning when the clock strikes 12. Of course, there are no actual clocks in the Arena.

I hold Annie's hand as we walk through the jungle, excitement flowing through his veins. This is to be their last night in the Arena, and he can't wait. Annie will finally be safe and I… I don't know what will happen to me.

Finally, we arrive, and Beetee explain the plan to some unknowing Annie, Katniss, and Peeta:

"Here's the plan:" He says. "I am going to wrap this wire around the tree and Annie, Katniss, and Johanna will take it to the beach. The electricity will electrocute the Careers and everybody around the beach, so you should get out of there as fast as you can."

"I want to stay with Peeta." Katniss complains. _And I want to stay with the real love of my life, but you can't have everything, Katniss._

Then, I look at Annie in the eyes and tell her: Goodbye _, love._

I watch as she walks away from us with her group. _She can take care of herself,_ I tell myself. But as she turns around to give me one last sad glance, I know something is wrong. This is not going to end well.

Annie is out of sight all too soon, and I can't drown the feeling of uneasiness that is tearing away at me.

"Finnick, Peeta, check the perimeter." Beetee tells us. "I'll get started on the wire."

We do our rounds until Beetee is finally finished. Then, we wait for midnight to come.

The feeling of wrongness just increases as time passes. That's when the wire goes slack.

"What's going on?!" Peeta asks worriedly. _The wire went slack. Something happened to the girls. Something happened to my Annie._

I start running into the jungle, aware of Beetee's yells. I can only think of one thing; _Annie is in danger._

"Annie! Annie!" I have to save her. She's in danger. "Annie! Annie!" I can't find her. Then, I see something move behind a tree and run in the opposite direction. It is quite obviously a woman, but I doubt its Enobaria because the woman's hair is down. I run after her, thinking its Annie.

I run after her until she reaches the lightning tree. She disappears in the shadows the second she gets there, though. That's when I see a pair of dark eyes looking at me from the bushes and the tip of an arrow pointing out from the side.

"You going to shoot me, Katniss?" She doesn't lower her bow. "You going to kill me? I wouldn't be surprised if you did… We're not that different, you and I. Your goal was to protect your love, and so was mine. So go ahead; shoot me. As long as she's alive I don't care anyway."

After some thought, she lowers her bow. Then she turns around and walks back to the tree. I'm too concentrated on Annie to realize what she is doing. It's too late, when I realize it, the lightning is already coming down and her arrow is already going up.

"Katniss, no!"

Then everything explodes.

When I wake up, my head hurts. I can barely see anything. Then I realize there is nothing to see. The room I'm in is entirely white; the roof, the floor, and the machines hooked to my body. I instinctively turn my head around to the left, hoping to see the green eyes I'm used to waking up to. But there's no one there.

The white turns to black and then everything's gone.

When I wake up again, I already fear the worst. I can't feel my legs, let somehow I get up and start walking, yanking the tubes from my body. As if in a trance, I walk to a room across the hall. _Where is Annie?_ Is all I can think of.

 _She has to be alright. She has to be. I made sure of it._

But something feels wrong.

"Where is Annie?" I ask the group of people in the room across the hall. _Plutarch Heavensbee, the name of a friend._

"Finnick… She is in the Capitol… We couldn't get her out in time… I apologize…" I can't hear the rest. The room is spinning but all I feel is nothing. I'm empty. Annie is gone and she took my heart with her.

 _Plutarch Heavensbee, the name of a traitor._

The door opens and I can barely process it _. She's gone. Because of my plan. She's in the Capitol. She's being tortured. Or worse…_

 _Then the truth of what they're doing to her sinks in._

 _No, no, no, no! It can't be… Only the cruelest of people would do that to her…_

Then I remember my mother and her family and my punishment… And I break.


	17. Chapter 17

Annie

"The wire's gone slack!" I exclaim when the force that pulls it tight disappears.

Then something horrible happens. Johanna turns on Katniss and knocks her to the ground, pulling out a knife. I scream and run, like I did in my first Games.

Fear courses through me. _I need to find Finnick. I need to make sure he's safe._

"Finnick! Finnick!" I scream. I don't know if I'm being chased, and I don't know if I'm even headed to the right direction. All I know is that I have to find him before the others do. "Finnick! Finnick!"

I'm going to die. At first I think: _Well, I can die. It will just be easier for Finnick to win._

That's when I realize _I don't want to die_.

"Finnick! Finnick!" I'm afraid. The darkness of the artificial night is frightening when you know who could be hiding in there.

I absentmindedly put a hand on my stomach and keep running, avoiding the shadows.

"Finnick!" I scream. "Finnick!"

"Annie!" I hear. It's almost a loud whisper, a scream from afar. My Finnick is nowhere to be seen, but I can hear him calling my name. I run in that direction, following his yells. I run so fast I don't have breath to spare, and when I arrive at the spot where Johanna attacked Katniss, I don't have the air to yell anymore.

My legs give out beneath me and I _fall_ , _fall, fall…_

But my eyes never close.

I see the night sky and count the stars, over and over, hoping to Leave. I count the stars over and over in vain, until the night sky changes. I know I'm dying, then. I know it because the sky explodes.

But my eyes stay open.

Everything is blurry, the edges starting to fade. I welcome the chaos, because it means peace at last.

I barely see the giant claw coming at me from the sky, lifting me into the air. It's over. I'm leaving.

I don't know when I lost consciousness. All that I know now is that I'm not in the Arena anymore.

There are machines hooked to my body, pumping fluids into my veins. The ceiling is completely white, along with the floor and the walls. I turn my head around to the right, instinctively, hoping I see green eyes. But there's no one there.

I try to think straight. It's very difficult. Earlier, I noticed morphling was one of the fluids in the machines. I suppose that must be it.

I need to get out of here. I need to get to Finnick. _What if he's already gone? What if he's…dead?_

I try getting up, even though it hurts like hell. That's when I notice I'm tied to the bed.

"Well, well… Look who woke up."

 _The feeling of relief when I see his eyes is overwhelming. I don't even know why. When have I ever not woken up to Finnick at my side?_

 _"_ _Morning, love." He greets me._

 _We're in our room in our mansion in 4, alone. Or so I thought._

 _"_ _Look who is also awake." He added._

 _The room looks the same as it used to, with one exception. There is a crib on one corner of the room. And, in the crib, there is a little boy. His eyes are open wide, looking around the room. They are green, turquoise green, like the sea. His head is full of golden locks, curls that fall and brush his cheeks, which are rosy. The boy stands up and grabs the side of the crib, before falling back down again. Instead of crying, though, he giggles._

 _"_ _We should really move him to the nursery." Finnick says, picking the baby up. "Come on, little guy! Come on, Seadon!" He says playfully, making the boy laugh._

 _My heart swells with love for my two boys. My two angels._

The first thing I notice when I wake up is the darkness. Then I notice I am in a cell.

The walls and floor are made of stone, and there is no bed, just a miserable toilet. On one side of the room there is a wall of iron bars with a locked entrance. I can see, beyond the bars, some other cells. Most of those were empty, except two. In those two cells, there are two people, one of which is on the ground, unconscious. Or, at least, I hope he's unconscious. The other one moves her head to show her face and I gasp. _Johanna._

"Woke up, then, have you?" She asks me. Her voice sounds hoarse, as if she's been screaming. There are scratches and bruises all over her and she looks tired.

"What have they done to you?!" I half-whisper.

"You've been asleep for a couple of days. A lot can be done to a person in a couple of days."

"And where is Finnick?" I ask, assuming the worst. I start shaking as my skin starts to process the cold. Or maybe I'm not shaking because of the cold.

Johanna doesn't answer right away and I start to panic. _Where is he? Has something happened to him?_

"He's not here. He's safe. The rebels took him and Katniss."

"And Peeta?" I ask, relieved that Finnick is safe.

Johanna doesn't answer, instead she turns and knocks on her wall, the one connected to the next cell.

"Wakey, wakey!" She singsongs.

The human on the floor moves his head and the little light in the room reflects off his straw-like hair.

"Hello, Annie. Welcome to hell." Up until that point, I hadn't thought to wonder where I am. Now I think I know.

"We're in the Capitol, then." I say out loud.

"No shit!" Johanna says sarcastically. "Now try to fall back asleep before they- Oops, too late!" Her tone changes. She actually sounds afraid. That made it ten times worse.

Six Capitol men came into the cell rooms. Two per cell.

The two men that come into mine scare me. Their irises are red and their skin is painted with flames. That isn't the scary part, though. The scary part is the cart he's pushing. It is filled with syringes and needles and liquids I can't identify. The other man is carrying a _table_ of some sorts.

"Please refrain from screaming. It really gets annoying."

I shrink away from them. _I can't run. I can't run. I can't run._

One of them sets up the table vertically then proceeds to grab me.

"Get away!" I yell.

"Do stop struggling. The venom will hurt all the more if you struggle." They tie me up on the table so that I can't move anymore. While Man 1 sets up the syringes, Man 2 gets what looks like a television from the cart and sets it up in front of me.

He turns the TV on and I see…

"Do you recognize this man?" Man 1 asks.

"Finnick?" I half-whisper. He's not alone. He's with a woman. From the Capitol. In her apartment. On her bed. _Naked_.

 _No, no, no, no, no…_ _They can't show me this._

"Now, Miss Cresta… I completely understand that you don't want to see this. We don't want you to see it either. So we are offering you a chance to stop it, to have this TV turned off. All you have to do is answer one simple question: Who does Finnick Odair love?" Man 2's words feel like feel like fire, burning through my veins. Then I realize the fire sensation might be a result of the fluid in a syringe he just put into my arm. Then, the fire turns to acid and I try not to scream. The acid burns worst in my abdomen, where my body fights the hardest to prevent it. _I will not let it get there,_ instinct tells me.

 _Who does Finnick Odair love?_

I don't even have to think about it. The answer is automatic. Obvious. I can see it in his eyes that he's not enjoying himself. I can hear it in his laughter. It is _so fake_.

"Me. He loves me." I tell the men.

"Wrong answer, Miss Cresta." Man 1 smiles evilly as he sticks another syringe needle in me. This one feels like it's turning me to stone. I can't move any part of my body anymore, I can't even blink. My eyes are now forever looking at that screen, forever seeing that Capitol woman do what she wants to do with my Finnick, forever seeing Finnick do what he wants to her.

The acid burns, but what burns the most is the image on the TV screen. _Don't, cry, don't cry, don't cry. I can't show weakness._

"Brave little Miss Cresta. Why not just let those tears fall and admit you lie?"

My mouth can barely more from the pain, but I use what little strength I have to tell them:

"He loves _me_."

"Just inject her with it, already!" Man 2 says.

"Wait. Let her watch a bit more footage. Leave the best for last." Man 1 responds.

The scene on the TV changes, but it looks the same. The only difference is the woman. The woman on the first clip is gone, replaced by a different one. But nothing else as changed; not the way she looks at Finnick, nor the way he laughs, nor the way they move.

"I'm going to ask you a second time, Miss Cresta: Who does Finnick Odair love?"

 _Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry._

"He. Loves. Me."

He injects me with the acid-thing again, doubling the pain. I can't blink, so the tears fall, and the more they fall, the more my eyes burn. But I can't blink the pain away, just like I can't swallow the bump in my throat, and just like I can't move to slap the sly looks off the men's faces.

The scene changes once more, but I barely notice it.

"Well, ask yourself this, then, Miss Cresta: Where is your Finnick now? Why isn't he here with you? Why hasn't he come to save you? He knows perfectly well what we're doing to you. Why isn't he helping you escape? I'll tell you why: Because he is safe and sound in District 13 and that is all he cares about."

 _No, no, no… Finnick would save me if he could. There must be something stopping him. Of course he loves me. Of course he does._

"Last chance, Miss Cresta: Who does Finnick Odair love?"

"Annie Cresta." I say. Of course he does.

"That's it! Inject her _now_!" Man 2 snaps.

"Sorry, Miss Cresta." Man 1's smile then chills me to the bone, or it would, if it didn't feel as though my bones were melting. He then takes the biggest syringe and fills it with a strange liquid. It looks slightly familiar, but I've never seen it before. Whatever it is, he handles it with care, taking measures as to prevent it from touching his own skin. Then he takes it and injects it into my bloodstream.

My mouth and vocal chords defy the fluid that renders me immobile and I scream. If I thought the acid burnt, it was only because I had never known pain such as this before.

Then something happens to my vision. What I see doesn't change, but it is as if I'm looking at something through a screen, similar to when I go Away. The images on the screen don't look any different, but Finnick and the woman become brighter, more vibrant.

Something changes in Finnick's eyes. Something appears that was definitely not there before: _Joy_.

 _He is enjoying himself. He likes it._

Horror consumes me as I think: _he loves her._

"No." I say out loud.

Images flash before my frozen, yet burning, eyes. I see him offering me a sugarcube, the day I was picked at the Reaping. I see Mags laughing like a mother with her children. I see Finnick's eyes as we swim together in our little beach. I see him holding me after a nightmare in the middle of the night. And, in the last image, I see him mouth _I love you,_ the night before the Quarter Quell.

"What did you do to me?" I spit out in pain.

"Tracker Jacker venom. You should be honored. Special orders from the President that it be used on you and Mister Mellark over there." Man 1 laughs. His companion laughs with him, watching me suffer, not thinking I'm smart enough to know the truth. _Finnick loves me, Finnick loves me, Finnick loves_ me.

The person on the screen with the joy in his eyes is not _my_ Finnick. He is a terribly distorted version of a man forced to hurt himself for the ones he loves.

"Hey, I think our four hours are up. We should get going." Man 2 says, suddenly.

"See you in a couple of days, Miss Cresta." Man 1 tells me as he locks the cell door. And, just like that I am left, once again, alone in the dark.

The pain starts to subdue after half an hour of retching and vomiting.

I then start to hear sounds I hadn't noticed before. I hear Peeta and Johanna scream in agony as I run to the bars. Peeta is in the same position as I am. His eyes are red and unblinking and his hands are frozen at his sides, but his mouth is open and out of it are coming the horrible screams. He, too, is watching TV. I can make out Katniss on a tree, an arrow pointed at a group of teenagers _. Oh my God. He's watching the Hunger Games._

"No! Stop!" I try to say, but my voice doesn't work. I'm too weak to even move, much less help. There's only one thing left to do, and I hate myself for it. I turn my head and ignore his screams.

I then see what they're doing to Johanna. She is naked, and her head is completely bare. She appears to be in a glass tank with water in it. One of the two men in her room is holding a strange machine with a button on it. The other man is looking at what seems to be Johanna's heart rate. That man says one thing to the other, who proceeds to press the button. Johanna lets out a scream as an electric charge travels through the water, shocking her everywhere. Her heart rate starts varying dangerously and, just when it starts to stabilize, the first man says something again, and the second presses the button, electrocuting her once again.

I turn around, knowing no one can help her. Then I lie down, insufferably tired, but my eyes still don't work. I stay awake for uncountable hours, thinking about what I'd seen. However much I know of Finnick's love for me, and however much I love him back, those images will forever be imprinted on my brain. And I know, just like I knew after my Games, that I would have nightmares about those images, until the end of my days.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Finnick

Only half an hour after I had found out about Annie's whereabouts, Katniss had burst into the room, demanding to see Peeta. When no one would answer her, she charged at Haymitch, yelling at him, much like I had done.

For some unknown reason, this had filled me with rage. Katniss knew she loved Peeta. She thought _he_ was the only one taken. She thought _she_ was the only one hurt. She thought there was _no one else_ with a broken heart in the room. At least that last bit was correct. My heart wasn't broken. My heart was missing. And she was in the Capitol.

But Peeta was _not_ the only one taken. And Katniss was _not_ the only one hurt.

She was in pain. Of course she was. She loves Peeta.

But she wasn't in insufferable agony. She didn't lose the _one person in the entire world_ who understood and loved her. She had absolutely _no right_ to react like she did.

So, when she turned her anger on me, it was only years of training that kept me from screaming out at her and tearing her apart.

And, only now, alone in my one-person bed at my room in District 13, do I allow myself to break down and cry.

I cry now about everything. I let myself lose control. I let myself go.

I start at the very beginning of things that I've always wanted to break down and cry about: My father's death.

I was so young when he died, so very young. He would have been my role model. He would have been my support. He would have been there for my mother and I. I think back on all those sleepless nights when I wished he would come back. When I wished he would find me awake and come sleep with me, and maybe read me a story. I think back on all those times when Annie and I talked longingly about throwing out those horrid pills on the kitchen counter and having a baby at last. I made up my mind back then to _never, ever_ leave her alone with a child. Our baby would _never_ grow up fatherless. Our baby would _never_ sit alone at night wondering about me. Our baby would _never_ miss school to help his mother, and he would _never_ have to comfort her crying. Our baby would always have a proper family. _Always._

Then I cry about my mother. The woman who did everything for me.

She was very beautiful, with brown eyes and golden hair. _You have your father's eyes_ , she used to say. And she was so hardworking. She would have two or three jobs at a time so I could go to school and eat three times a day. Never did she let me see the damage. Never did she let me see her pain.

Whenever I caught her crying in the middle of the night, holding a picture of Dad, she would pull me in and hug me tight until I fell asleep.

She would let me do what I wanted, as long as she knew I was safe. And if I ever got hurt, she would kiss my wound and heal it with her careful hands.

Never was there a woman stronger than my mother.

All these things that she did for me, they didn't matter in the end, for her death was my fault. I was stupid and naïve. I thought I could turn down an order from the President. And he killed her. I'll never forget how I felt when I found her on the floor her head cracked open.

The Peacekeepers told me she fell down the stairs and hit her head on the table, but I knew she could never. My mom was the most careful person I knew. Someone pushed her. And it was _my_ fault.

After that I cry about my Games.

I killed people. Six people. _Kids_.

I remember their eyes as they pleaded me to stop. To let them live. To have mercy. I remember how I told them I'd be quick. And I was. They barely felt it.

But I did.

I remember how I made those nets. It was so easy with all the rope Mags sent me. Six nets to trap six people. I remember how they screamed when the net went up and they realized they were trapped. And then I dove my trident into their hearts.

Next I cry about Annie.

 _Oh, my Annie. My beautiful, beautiful Annie. What they did to you._

I remember when we met, how she wasn't like other girls. She didn't flirt or swoon, instead she looked at me like I would look at me. She looked at me with hatred. And then she got to know me, and her face softened, and over time her smile became mine and her laugh became mine and she started to see me like I saw her: a miracle.

But no one else would see that. All they would see were her empty eyes as she stared at nothing, and all they would hear were her cries for help when her mind turned dark.

Only I could see her in all her splendor, when she swam in her sea with her dress spread out, looking like an angel, or when she laughed or when she smiled, or when her eyes got so bright they looked like shining suns.

My Annie, who sees the good in everyone, bullied and persecuted for the rest of her life.

And she cries about it, and she wakes up drenched in sweat, and she falls to the ground, and she screams until she can't anymore. But at the end of the day, she takes it in stride.

 _Her weakness makes her stronger._

And I know there is no one braver than my Annie.

And now she's gone, and it's all my fault. She is in the Capitol, being abused and tortured because I made a stupid deal and, after they find out she doesn't know anything, who knows what they will _do_ to her?

I keep crying uncontrollably for hours, about Mags, about the Quell, about the Capitol, about Annie's capture. Finally, there are no more tears left.

I had always wanted to break down about my troubles, cry them out the way Annie did, but now that I have, I realize it doesn't feel as good as I had imagined.

It's all my fault: my mother's death, the tribute's murder, Annie's capture… And it will drive me crazy. And I will let it.


	19. Chapter 19

Annie

I have no way of telling how many hours or weeks pass, I just know that the men who tortured Johanna and Peeta every day have come for me only thrice. I don't know why they don't torture me as often, but I can't say I'm not thankful.

However, each time is a bit easier, even if they keep adding chemicals and acids to my blood and even if they inject me with Tracker Jacker venom. I have taught myself to spot the shell necklace that I gave him before the Quell. He always wears it, no matter the client. And, besides, I'm used to not seeing true reality. I do so every time I go Away. Telling when something is fake to me is child's play.

 _My weakness makes me stronger._

And, every time they ask me: _Who does Finnick Odair love?_ I always know, I always say: _Me_.

Johanna looks terrible. Between her constant electrocutions, her everyday beatings, and her already shaved head, she looks like a small animal, covered in bruises and cuts and blisters. But she's still Johanna. She won't give up. When the men ask her: _Is there someone coming for you?_ She always says: _Yes_.

Peeta isn't doing any better. His visits are more frequent, but I don't think that's why he's starting to cave. He hasn't had the years of madness that allow me to see reality, and for all I know he doesn't think Katniss loves him very much. So Johanna and my sadness is tangible when one day he's asked: _Who is Katniss Everdeen?_ He replies: _She's a mutt._

After that, the men take him and he doesn't come back for what I think must be about a day. When he does, he looks much better, covered by layers of makeup.

A few long days later, after another torture session, my curiosity gets the best of me and I ask:

"Why aren't they coming for me every day, too?"

Johanna laughs at that, which makes me very confused. _Was that funny?_

"You seriously don't know, Annie?" She responds.

"Should we tell her?" Peeta half-whispers. Not so secretively.

"No! Of course not!" Johanna responds. "It would be too cruel." _Cruel? Johanna thinks something is cruel?_ I start to worry. If there's something about me that makes Johanna have mercy, I should be terrified. "Besides, all she has to do is look in a mirror."

 _Look in a mirror?_

"I still don't understand why the Capitol would care." Peeta says.

"Neither do I, but I suddenly wish I had a boyfriend, too." She jokes. I don't understand why that's funny, but Peeta seems to crack a small smile.

"Well, that was absolutely of no help whatsoever, guys. So thank you very much." I turn back around and lie down on the ground, my head swimming with questions. _What could be so bad that it would be mercy to keep it hidden? Something I could see in the mirror? Something to do with Finnick?_

The door to the hallway where our cells are opens and two men come in. _That's strange,_ I think, _only two men?_

They walk past Johanna's cell and barely glance at Peeta's, and then I realize: _they're coming for me._

I shrink back to a corner of the cell. Whatever those two want, it can't be good. They enter my cell and make their way towards me. I have nothing to defend myself with, and I have learnt what struggling will do, so I let them take me. I haven't stood up for a long time and it feels like my center of balance has shifted just a little, as if I had gained weight, or maybe it's just the fact that the last time I stood up had been weeks ago.

I follow them away from my cell, stumbling quite a bit. Apparently, one of the men got tired and carried me the rest of the way.

I am taken to a room, a beautiful room. The walls are clean and white and the floor has a beautiful red carpet. There is also a small mirror on one side. On the roof, I see a small chandelier that brightens the room, and a very comfy-looking bed on one side. The room has no furniture other than the bed, but the bed can barely be called a bed. It is a red feather mattress with nothing on top, no pillows, no covers, and no blankets. The walls are thick, with a clock on one of them, and one of the two doors in the room has multiple locks, from the inside. _That's strange. Why would I want to lock the door from the inside?_

"This is where you will be residing for now, Miss Cresta." One of the two men tells me. He says it as if it is a punishment, which I'm starting to fear it is.

"Your prep team will be arriving shortly." The other man adds as they leave, locking the door behind them.

The door opens and three people come in. at first I don't recognize them as they are wearing no makeup and their clothes are plain, but then I see it It's my prep team.

They are accompanied by guards and they look almost as bad as I do. A pang of guilt hits me. _My poor prep team._

"Hello, Annie." Rosalie says, lacking any sort of enthusiasm.

"Hey, guys." I answer in the same tone. I let Louis hug me, even though I really do not feel like being touched right now.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." He whispers quickly before letting go. I look at his eyes. _Is he crying?_

"You have one hour to get her ready." One of the guards says. The three men leave and I am left alone with Florio, Rosalie, and Louis. _That's strange,_ I think, _where's Tigris?_

After the guards are out of earshot, I decide to ask.

"Oh, she left. Got a letter one day and took off. Lucky girl, if you ask me." Rosalie answers. She doesn't sound very happy about it, though. Just wishful. Although I think I know who sent that letter. I just hope Tigris is okay.

Louis opens the other door, the one that doesn't have a lock, and takes me inside. In it I find a simple bathroom. It's has a toilet, a bathtub with no curtain, and a sink with a mirror, which I rush to quickly. It is high up in the wall, but I can see my face just fine. I look terrible; with my eyes bulging and red and thick shadows under my eyes. There is absolutely no color in my cheeks or my lips, and my skin is unnaturally pale. But I don't see anything that could possibly worry the Capitol.

"Let's get you ready." Florio says half-heartedly. _I wonder what could have made my cheery prep team so gloomy and depressed…_

"Ready for what?" I ask.

No one answers.

My team bathe me and cover me in makeup, not only my face, but my body as well. When they're done, I ask:

"So, what am I going to wear?"

Florio starts crying and walks out of the room with his head in his hands.

"Nothing, Annie, dear. You're going to wear nothing." Rosalie tells me, sniffling a little.

"What?! I demand to get dressed! Now!" I yell, starting to lose my temper, fast. I haven't felt uncomfortable, being naked in front of them, for a long time, but now I just want to hide. More than hide. I feel anger burning up inside of me. _Oh, how I hate being angry. It's one of those emotions I will never get the hang of._

"I'm sorry, but that just can't happen." Louis tells me as Rosalie rushes out of the room, crying. "Now, _please_ let me finish you up." His voice breaks once or twice in that sentence, but I let him continue until he's done. I look in the mirror again, but this time I look different. The bags under my eyes are gone, hidden under layers of makeup, and there is color in my cheeks. Still, I look far from normal.

"There, now. Annie. I can't say anything because of the cameras."

"There are security cameras?"

"No. I don't think those cameras are meant for security."

"Then what are they for?"

"Can't say, but I need you to do one thing for me before he comes-"

"Before who comes?" I interrupt.

"What they're going to do isn't meant to hurt you, it's meant to hurt someone else, someone who cares about you a whole lot." He tells me, looking at me in the eye.

"Hurt who?!"

"It doesn't matter! Annie, you are going to have to be very, very brave, and very, very strong. Understand?" I try to hide my fear when I answer him.

"Okay."

Then, he leaves.

I search the room for something to cover myself with, but I find nothing. Even the carpet is glued to the floor. I'm starting to hate this room more than my old cell. And then the door with the locks, the door that goes outside, the door that leads to freedom, opens.

In comes a strange sight. It's a Capitol man, not one of the guards, simply a civilian, wearing a silk purple robe. He enters the room, smiles, and locks all the locks on the door behind him. Then he looks me over and smiles.

"Oh, you're going to do nicely."

 _I wake up in my couch, covered with a blanket._

 _Above me are Cora and Finnick, looking very sad and very worried._

 _"_ _Hey, Annie. How are you doing?" Finnick asks as if he already knows the answer. And he doesn't like it._

 _"_ _I'm fine-" I try to say, but then I start crying._ Why am I crying?

 _"_ _Shh… It's ok, love. You're going to be ok." He says._

 _"_ _Don't lie to her!" Cora snaps._

 _"_ _What's- what's going on? I- I don't understand." I try, choking up._ What is wrong with me?

 _My whole body hurts and I start crying harder. I don't know why. I don't know what is happening._

 _"_ _Annie-" Cora starts, but Finnick interrupts her._

 _"_ _Don't tell her!" Cora looks like she's about to say something back, but then the door opens. "Arnav, get out!"_

 _"_ _Why?" My little brother asks._

 _"_ _We're having a grown-up talk!" She retorts._

 _"_ _Well, I'm not leaving." He answers. Cora then gets up and picks him up and carries him away._

 _"_ _I'm sorry, Annie. I can't help you. But, I promise, I will see you again." He holds me until Cora comes back, looking angrier than ever._

 _"_ _Annie, I'm going to need you to be strong. Stronger than ever, because-"Her face softens when she looks at me._

 _"_ _Don't you dare!" He stops her._

 _"_ _She has to know! She has a right to know what they're doing to her! She needs to wake up!"_

 _"_ _What's happening!? I don't understand!"_

 _"_ _At least wait until it's all over. Please." He begs._

 _"_ _I'm going to tell her!"_

 _"_ _No!"_

 _"_ _Annie, you're being-" The rest of her words are drowned by darkness and the cold feeling that accompanies waking up._

When I wake up, I don't immediately open my eyes. It feels so good to have them closed again. For a little while, I allow myself the bliss of the darkness, until I choose to open my eyes again. And when I do, I notice something wrong. _I'm not alone._

I find myself lying on the bed, exhausted, even after what must have been hours of sleep. Next to me I see the Capitol man, lying asleep only a few inches from me. But that's not the worst bit. His purple robe is gone, lying on the floor beside the bed. He is completely naked.

A ton of questions cloud my thoughts: _How did I get on the bed? When did I fall asleep? Who is he? Why is he here? Why is he naked?_

I try to remember, but it's hard. _What happened to me?_

 _Think, Annie, think._ I try to think about what happened before I woke up, things people said to me…

 _"_ _What they're going to do isn't meant to hurt you, it's meant to hurt someone else, someone who cares about you a whole lot.", "Oh, you're going to do nicely.", "Annie, I'm going to need you to be strong. Stronger than ever, because-"_

 _I'm being raped._


	20. Chapter 20

Finnick

 _Don't fall apart. Annie will need you._

 _Annie's gone._

 _But she will come back._

 _It's your fault, just let go._

 _She needs you sane._

It's a constant debate in my head; whether I should give in to the fear and the sadness, whether I should let go. I hate to admit it, but letting go is very tempting.

I'm so concentrated on those thoughts that I barely hear the door open.

"Finnick, you need to come and see this." A District 13 resident tells me.

"I don't want to see it. I don't want to see anything." I tell her.

"President Coin didn't want you to see it either, but Mr. Heavensbee insists. It's Miss Cresta, sir. The Capitol sent them something from her." _Miss Cresta. Annie. My Annie._

I stand up and basically run to the door.

"Take me there." I tell her, not caring anymore about staying calm.

"Right this way, sir." She leads me to a room, in which I see a big screen, Plutarch Heavensbee, and President Alma Coin.

"Where is she?" I ask, half-yelling. "Tell me!"

"She's trapped in the Capitol, as you know. They sent us this clip of her, with an exact message about who to show this to." Coin answers. Of course, it is easy for her to keep calm.

"And that is?"

"To our dearest Finnick Odair."

The recording starts playing and the first thing I see is Annie, huddled in a corner, covering her naked body. _No, no, no, no… Why is she naked?_

The door opens and a Capitol man comes in, dressed in nothing but a robe. Which he proceeds to remove.

And then Annie turns to the camera, her eyes big and afraid. _I'm sorry,_ she mouths.

 _Its okay, love! It's not your fault! I'm coming!_ I say, without realizing it was out loud until Coin clears her throat. By that time I am inches from the image, reaching out to touch her. I feel a bit better in seeing that she's gained weight. I suppose they feed her well, for her stomach has grown, though not enough to be worried about at all. Other than that, she looks terrible. I can see through the heavy layers of makeup, which cannot conceal the bags under her eyes.

But then the life in her eyes vanishes, and I know she won't remember anything. It's only a slight relief, though, because my Annie is smart. She'll know what's happened as soon as she wakes up. She'll know what they've done to her.

I think she can feel it, even though she can't see or hear. I think she knows, far in her own world, she knows what's happening, and I pray that she doesn't realize it just yet. But I know I'm wrong because her eyes are full of tears even if they are empty of consciousness. Maybe they're subconscious tears, but my Annie is crying.

I look at the date on the screen. _That was a week and a half ago._

The image fast-forwards for a few minutes until it changes into Annie again. She has bruises now, and I really don't want to think about the way she got them. Another man, not very different from the other one, comes in. Again, Annie's mind takes her away, but as soon as the man lays a hand on her, she starts crying.

It fast-forwards again, and again, and again, and I see her being raped every other day for that awful week and a half. And that's when I realize: they're not punishing her. They're punishing me.

All those times I spent telling myself to keep it together seem useless, now. They're doing to her what I worked restlessly to prevent, from the day she walked out of the Arena. They're doing to her what they did to me. They're making her feel what I feel.

I know, when she gets back- _If she gets back_ \- that she will hate herself. She will shower every day and wake up crying, and… _She might not even want to touch me._

And in that moment, as I watch the man kiss her and touch her, I promise to her, and to myself, that I will fight. I will fight in this war. I will win the rebellion. Even if it's the last thing I ever do.

 _Four days later…_

"Finnick! You need to be in Control 3 in 5 minutes! They've got news about the Victors!"

Up until then I had been in my room. Now, I'm running to Control, trying and failing to keep my hopes down.

I open the door too fast and it slams against the wall, making all the people already in the room turn and stare at me. I don't even care about the embarrassment, I just ask:

"Have you found them? Please tell me you found them." I look at Katniss, who is already in the room, her eyes bright for once.

"They've found them. They're sending out a rescue mission. They're going to bring them back." And then she smiles, and I realize I've never once seen her smile since we met. And instead of being mad at her for thinking her happiness can possibly compare to mine, I go over and I hug her. She unexpectedly hugs me back, then.

"The rescue team will be back this afternoon at the latest." Coin says, interrupting our hug, but I don't mind. _This afternoon she will be in my arms again_.


	21. Chapter 21

Annie

 _I'm on the couch again, with Cora at my side and Finnick holding my hand. I don't know how many times I've gone away in the past week, but I already know what to expect. That doesn't make it any more bearable._

 _As soon as I feel him get on top of me, my eyes cloud with tears. I don't want to go through it again. I might be in my mind; I can't see or hear him. But I can feel what he does. I feel how he touches and kisses my body. And I hate it._

 _It's not like when Finnick and I do it. He's careful and sweet, moving slowly. The Capitol men are not. They do what the feel like to me, and I can't fight back. I can't even say anything in the real world. But in this world, I scream._

 _"_ _Make it stop!" I sob. I call out for help, but neither Finnick nor Cora can do anything about it._

 _"_ _I'm sorry, love. I can't stop it." He moves to caress my face, but I slap his hand away. I don't want_ anyone _touching me._

 _"_ _Make it stop!"_

 _The next day…_

One day has passed since the last visit, which means another one will be coming tomorrow. Thanks to the clock on the wall, I can tell when the hours pass. Each man comes for exactly six hours. In that time, they do whatever they want.

 _So this is what Finnick goes through every day for months, just to keep me safe._

I'm lucky I'm mad. No amount of torture is going to make me go crazy. You can't change something into what it already is.

Then something strange happens. Smoke starts coming out from the ventilation shafts, clouding my vision. _They're going to kill me,_ I think. The fumes make me dizzy, and they make my eyes heavy. But I fight it. _I didn't go through all of that just to die_.

Then the door slams open and three men come in. They don't look like Capitol men, although it's hard to tell with the smoke. Then I realize I'm completely naked and no matter how many times I'm violated, I'm never going to get used to men seeing me nude.

I go to a corner, curling up so they can't see my body, and I cover my mouth with my hair. I'm about to pass out… Even my thoughts are getting fuzzy…

 _Have… to… keep… going…_

I focus all my energy into staying awake, so much that I don't have the strength to fight off the men. One of them picks me up and they carry me away from the horrible room. We're barely through the door when I give up and let the darkness consume me.

I wake up with five-or-so machines hooked up to my body. I am surrounded by a few doctors, talking and taking notes in their clipboards.

"Where am I?" I ask one of the nurses.

"You're on a hovercraft to District 13." He replies.

"And where's Finnick?"

"He's in District 13, waiting for you. Now, we're going to run some tests, okay? Please relax. We'll be there in a few hours." He tells me.

I try to. _You're safe, you're going to be with Finnick again. You're away from the Capitol._

But that just seems too good to last.

The doctors do their job carefully, making sure that I'm comfortable. When one of them asks me to unclothe myself so he can check something, I refuse, and he accepts. Instead, he tells me I can have the tests run by a female doctor. That, I accept.

All the male doctors and nurses leave and I take off my hospital robes. The women study me for a while, and then they tell me I can put my robes back on. When the men come back, they have a quick chat and, after that, one of them tells me the wonderful news:

"Annie, you're pregnant."

The realization doesn't shock me as much as I thought it would. I suppose I had known for a while that something was wrong, or _right._ The cramps, the mood swings, the vomiting, Johanna's mercy, the Capitol's less-frequent punishments, my off-balance, and my slightly bigger stomach make sense now. _I'm having a baby._

Finnick and I will finally get what we wanted.

 _But what if the baby isn't Finnick's?_

"How long have I been pregnant?" I ask, trying to stay calm. _What if it's a Capitol baby? What if it's a result of rape?_

"For slightly more than two months." I gasp. _So the baby is Finnick's after all._ Tears cloud my vision, but they're tears of joy. _I'm pregnant._

"And- is, is it- a boy or a girl?"

"It is most certainly a boy." _Seadon. I'm going to have my little Seadon. My baby. My angel._

"However, you were put through a lot of torture. We don't know for sure if the baby will have any problems." _It doesn't matter. I will love him just the same._

"Can you be sure somehow?" I ask, nonetheless.

"Of course. We just need to run some tests. They put a lot of poisons in your body, including the fog in your Games. Poor thing, pregnant in the Hunger Games. Oh, and the baby will be born sometime in July." I realize it's true; _I was pregnant during the Hunger Games._ For once, I allow myself a bit of pride. _I made it through the Quarter Quell with another human being in me._

The doctors continue their tests, putting strange creams on my belly and showing me pictures of the baby. _Oh, what Finnick would give to be here._

As if reading my mind, the nurse says:

"We will be in 13 in five minutes. Now, Annie, in 13 there are many rules and strict lifestyles. You are pregnant; however, meaning you don't have to do most of the work. Most of your time will be free. I can't say the same for Finnick, even though you will both be pulled out of your daily schedules for extra psychological and medical appointments. Especially you, Annie. You will have many hours of rehabilitation as well. But most of your time will be free."

"Got it." I assure her. I'm getting an opportunity at life. No matter how busy it is, I will make it work.

Then, the hum of the engines stop and a nurse tells me:

"We're here."

"And when can I see Finnick?" I ask.

"In about an hour, after we give the medics in 13 a full report on your health." _I can't wait to see Finnick._ I can just picture his face when I tell him about the baby.

I try my best to be patient as they take me underground to the hospital and do my tests over again.

 _I'll be with him again. I will be in his arms again._

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, the doors open. My heart picks up a beat and every second drags on for minutes. And then I see him.

"Finnick!" I call out, pulling off the hospital blankets and getting up quickly.

"Annie? Annie!" He starts running towards me, and my feet take off automatically. Soon, I'm back in his arms, feeling his hair and face and arms. _Finnick. My Finnick. In my arms again._

"It's okay, Annie. You're safe now. You're ok." I laugh and we kiss once more. _Finally,_ I think, _I'm with him at last._

We hold each other for a long time, until the doctors say it's time to let go.

"Can we leave the hospital?" I ask.

"Well, they've done all your tests already so I suppose you can, but you need to come back before dinner, now. Okay?" Something in Finnick's eyes shines and I can tell an idea has come to him. And I think I know exactly what it is.

"That is just about enough time for-" He starts, biting his lip.

"No." I interrupt. The mere thought of someone's hands on me again, even Finnick's, horrifies me. All the happiness vanishes from his eyes as he sees the terror on my face. I try to cover it, then by saying: "I have something to tell you." And just at the thought of telling Finnick I'm pregnant, I feel much better. He; however, does not. _But he will soon, when you tell him._ I reassure myself.

He leads me away to his room, _our room._

"I need to ask for a bigger bed." He says, trying to lighten the mood. "Now, what did you want to tell me?" I sit down on the bed, suddenly exhausted, and pat one side of the bed, indicating he should sit down. When he does, I take his hands in mine and look at his eyes. I get really nervous all of a sudden. _What if he doesn't want a child?_ I fear. Then I remember all those times he looked to the sea and told me how much he'd always wanted a family, how much he'd always wanted children. And I just say it:

"I'm pregnant." His reaction is immediate. His eyes light up and his smile is bigger than ever. He laughs and picks me up, spinning me around, so, so happy.

"You're pregnant! I'm going to be a father!" He says, his eyes full of happy tears. "I'm going to be a father." He repeats, softer this time.

"It's a boy." I tell him. This only excites him more. He gives me a long, sweet kiss, then moves down and kisses my slightly-bigger tummy.

"What are we going to name him? How long have you been pregnant for? When are you having him? Where are we having him?" He bombards me with a list of questions I doubt I'm not ready to answer.

"I was thinking Seadon. I've been pregnant for about two months. We're having him in July. Hopefully in District 4. And he is most certainly yours." I add.

"Why wouldn't he be mine?" He asks, with a look that tell me he knows already.

"Don't lie and tell me you don't know what they did to me. Don't you lie to me, Finnick."

He doesn't say anything, just nods and hugs me. We stay like that for a long time, possibly an hour, until I am due to return to get my tests done.


	22. Chapter 22

Finnick

 _Three (very happy) weeks later…_

"We don't know what to do anymore. We can win the war, I'm sure, but the citizens of 13 need motivation. Happiness, to put it one way. They are tired and they need hope and we just don't know what to do anymore." Heavensbee explains. I have not been able to forgive him for not saving Annie yet, but I know I need to be on his good side if I want to sneak off to the war.

"I don't know what you want me to do." I say.

"I was thinking maybe you would have some ideas. We need something, please Finnick, I'm begging you. Something that shows the people that they can be happy." He explains.

I wreck my brain, thinking of happy things. Soon, I find that all of the things I think of include Annie. Every single one.

And then it hits me.

"I have just the thing!" I whisper my idea to him and run off, feeling giddier at every step. In time, I reach my room. Annie has gone off to get some tests done.

Heavensbee assured me that he would get everything I could need to accomplish it. Everything but one. Luckily, I have what I need. I bought it years ago with the hope that someday I would get to use it with Annie. I open the little box where it's stored to make sure it looks good. Hopefully I would get to give it to her by the end of the day.

I decide to surprise her by picking her up from the Hospital Wing. Taking her out for a walk might also be nice, even though we would only be able to walk underground. But, for an occasion like this, I would have to deal with it.

I spend the fifteen-minute walk to the Hospital Wing thinking everything out. _Is it too soon? Too sudden? No, it can't be._

I realize I'm feeling something new; something unknown to me. _I am nervous._

In fact, I'm so busy worrying that I don't notice Annie running up to greet me. She isn't very fast with her slightly bigger belly, but her eyes shine.

"Hey, love." I greet her, scooping her up in my arms and kissing her. I hope that hides my nerves. I need to make today count.

"Hi."

"Want to go for a walk? I can show you some parts of the District." I suggest.

"Uh… I don't know… I'm kind of rather tired. Mind if we go get some rest instead?"

My heart sinks. She must have seen it in my eyes because she suggests:

"Fine, we can take a small walk. But I will warn you; I'm very tired." My hopes go up a little, but there is still an awful feeling in my stomach. I'd never understood the meaning of 'butterflies in my stomach' but I understand it now. It feels like there are dozens of those little butterflies, crowding my tummy.

"Are you alright, Finnick?" She asks.

"Y-yes. Fine." I curse my stuttering voice. I've never felt nervous before; _why did I have to start now?_

I feel for the little box in my pocket, although it does little to reassure me. _What if something goes wrong?_

I lace my arm through hers and start walking. Really, I have no idea where I'm going to take her, but I just keep walking. I keep quiet throughout the walk, trying to reassure myself.

Annie looks at me out of the corner of her eye once in a while, although I don't give her the satisfaction of knowing what I'm going to do by looking back at her. _She loves you,_ I keep telling myself. _But what if the Capitol changed that? What if she starts to doubt?_ I'm about to chicken out and go back to our room when she says:

"Alright, Finnick Odair. You're going to tell me what's wrong and you're going to do it now."

My hands shake as I take hers in mine. I look into her gorgeous aqua-green eyes and try to keep it together. The box feels heavy in my pocket as I choke out the words I want.

"Annie Cresta… I want to ask you this because you're the first person I want to look at in the morning, and the only one I want to kiss goodnight, because the first time that I saw your hands, I couldn't imagine not being able to hold them, but mainly, when you love someone as much as I love you, doing this is the only thing left to do… So, um, will you marry me?" I get on one knee, pulling out the little box and opening it the show the little ring it contained.

Annie's eyes light up like the Sun's reflection on the sea. Her smile is immediate and the blush of her cheeks is so obvious I could have spotted it from a mile down. Her eyes well up and I start to wonder if she can hear the beating of my heart, which roars in my own ears.

"Yes." _Yes… yes… yes…_ It takes my mind a while to process that, but it doesn't matter. I'm on my feet, my body reacting immediately. I pick her up, spinning her around in my arms and plating a kiss on her rosy lips. We kiss for what seems like forever, neither of us willing to pull away. When we finally let go for air, my eyes are full of tears. I look down at the ring on her finger, which fits perfectly on her slender finger.

We walk back to our room in a sort of trance, and once there, our clothes are on the floor before we even realize it.


	23. Chapter 23

Annie

 _Two weeks later…_

It's five days to our wedding day, and I've been granted the unique opportunity to exit the District. Katniss wanted to go to her house in 12, and I needed a new wedding dress. As a result, Katniss and I are currently on a hovercraft on our way to District 12, where she will give me one of her fantastic dresses from her Victory tour. Of course, I have plenty of those myself, but District 4 is too close to the Capitol and we can't risk it, so I have to settle with her second-hand garments.

I am too excited about the wedding to worry about it, though. Soon, I would marry Finnick! Soon, we would be husband and wife! And this time there would be no one around to stop us from being happy.

"We're here." The District 12 escort, Effie, says. She is close to Katniss and decided to tag along, no matter the risk. Impressive for a Capitol citizen.

Katniss hadn't talked for the entire ride, instead using her time to study me. She would look me over, the gears turning in her mind, possibly wondering how Finnick Odair could have fallen in love with mad, little Annie Cresta. And I couldn't care less.

"My house is only a short walk from here." Katniss says. Her voice sound sore, as expected, since she was just choked by Peeta. Apparently, the measures used against us in the Capitol had taken their toll on him. The mere thought of the Capitol sends shivers down my spine.

The Victor's Village in 12 isn't as beautiful or grand as the one in 4. The houses are dark and they are not made of the same material. While my house is made of glistening quartz, these houses have stone walls. I find that I don't really mind.

Ever since I was a little girl I had dreamed of my wedding. I imagined it would be to some handsome sailor or fisherman. I would get married in the beach, wearing a beautiful white gown that I knew we couldn't afford. And my whole family would be there, even, in a magical way, my Mum. But I will not marry a sailor. And I will not marry in the beach. And I will not wear a beautiful white gown. And my family will not be there.

I feel the familiar pang in my chest that accompanies any thoughts related to my family. Before I have the chance to cry; though, we enter the house.

Katniss walks around, taking a look at her home. The nostalgia in her eyes is almost tangible, even though she has only lived here a year. She takes Effie, my prep team, and I to her room, where she kept all her dresses. She opens her closet and, sure enough, it's full of gowns of endless colors. Her stylist must have liked her; Louis never let me keep my clothes.

"Which one would you like to try on first?" Katniss asks with no enthusiasm. _You know, Katniss, this is a special day for me, and if you're going to ruin it by being pessimistic, I'd rather not have come!_ That is my immediate thought after seeing her roll her eyes. _This is my wedding. It's a big deal to me._

Effie walks past me, ignoring Katniss. She takes out a dress from the wardrobe; a yellow dress with a tight top and flowing arms and skirt and a pattern of tiny pink flowers. After putting it on in the bathroom, I walk out, showing them the dress.

"Well, give me a twirl!" Effie tells me. "No, no, no… This one makes your eyes go yellow." I don't quit know what she meant, but I'm happy to try on another dress. This time it is a gorgeous pink gown with a small bodice and short flowy sleeves. The skirt is strange; bird-like, almost. It's made of hundreds of little pieces of pink transparent cloth, placed on top of each other to create the most beautiful effect.

"Nope. Too pink." Katniss says. I'm almost yelling at her to shut up when Effie agrees.

"True. It would take the attention off her gorgeous eyes." I smile at the compliment, thankful to have her here.

This goes on for hours. I try on a dress, they say no, I try on another one, they say no…

Finally, Effie takes out a green dress. It's very simple, but I'm instantly in love with it. The bodice is tight, but it's not intoxicating, hugging my small features as to show them off, yet no being so tight that you can see what I lack. The sleeves are short and made of a lighter, almost transparent fabric that seems to also make up the skirt. The skirt; however, has multiple layers and is far from see-through, yet it is light and flowing like the waves. There is a small string with a pretty bow lining my waist and dark green shoes to match.

"Yes!" Effie and Katniss exclaim at the same time. Effie looks at me from all sides, her eyes wide.

"Yes! This is perfect! It even brings out your eyes!" She tells me.

"Hold on, I have just the thing!" Katniss says, walking out of the room. She has been getting nicer as the hours pass. Hopefully she realized that there is no other way to spend her time here.

Soon, she comes back with something in her hand. _It's a shell_ , I realize. She puts it on my hair, clipping back some stands to expose my face.

"That's it!" Effie takes my arm, leading me to a mirror. I gasp when I see myself. My eyes are my most prominent feature, but my hair stands out, as well as the few curves on my body; somehow hiding my pregnant belly. _This is it_ , I realize. _This is what I'm getting married in_.

The ride back to 13 was silent and uneventful, and yet, as I lie in my bed, I can't help feeling exhausted. So tired, in fact, that I don't notice the cold feeling that washes over me, bringing me under like a wave.

 _"_ _I'm so excited! I can't wait to be your maid of honor!" Cora says, circling me, taking a good look at my wedding dress. "My sister is getting married to Finnick Odair! I can't believe it! I'm going to be his sister-in-law! Finnick Odair's sister in law!"_

 _"_ _Yes, yes… You're going to be Finnick's sister in law. But guess what: I'm going to be his wife!" I stick my tongue out at her like I used to when we were little._

 _"_ _Well, guess what?! I'm married to Stephen Orion! Beat that!" She says, laughing. Her smile soon turns into a frown, though. "Annie? Why are you crying?"_

 _"_ _I'm not-" I start, but I realize it's true. I'm crying. There's something very wrong here._

I wake up alone in my room, my eyes wet. _I know what's wrong. It's you._ Cora will not be my maid of honor. Little Arnav will not wait for me on the first row of seats, to wave and blow me kisses. My Father will not walk me down the aisle. Not even Mags will be there.

I start to cry harder, thankful that there's nobody here to see me. _Cora didn't get married._ The realization stuck me like a pang in my chest. _Arnav will never get married, either._

All I can think about is: _It's not fair. They deserve love and a long life. I don't. I killed people. I deserve worse than a loving husband, a beautiful dress, and a wedding. Cora deserves to wear a beautiful white dress. She deserves a ring. She deserves Stephen. She deserves happiness. I don't. Cora never did anything wrong. She never hurt anyone. I killed people, I killed people, I killed people._

 _People don't always get what they deserve, in fact, they rarely do. My mother died sick. My father died alone. My sister died young. My brother died a child. Finnick is a prostitute. Mags has no children. Katniss has no home. Peeta has been tortured. Johanna has been beaten. And what do I get? I get a baby on the way, a husband who will love me forever, and a celebrated wedding. It's not fair._


	24. Chapter 24

Finnick

"Don't be so nervous, Finnick! You're going to do fine!" Louis unsuccessfully tries to reassure me as he puts the finishing touches on my outfit. I'm wearing one of Peeta's old suits from his Victory Tour. It's gray, with a green tie and details. I'm feeling the same nervousness as the day I proposed to Annie. Maybe more. _What if I mess up? What if I'm not good enough?_ My head is full of a million thoughts like those. At the same time I'm happy. I'm finally going to marry her. But it just seems too good to last.

"Sorry, it's just… Annie. She's wonderful. I don't think I'll be good enough." I tell Louis as he styles my hair.

"Don't worry! You're the most handsome guy in Panem!"

"Handsome is not what I'm worried about."

"There! You're done!" He says, circling me. "You look dashing!"

I look in the mirror. _I do look dashing._ The tie matches my eyes and the gray makes my hair stand out, not that it needs help, thanks to Louis's magnificent styling.

"Thanks, Louis." I say.

Today I'm going to allow myself freedom of expression. I'm no longer going to hide what I think, not even with my face. I want it to be clear as day how much I love my Annie, and how much she loves me back.

I walk to the huge room where they're going to host the wedding. I'm quick to notice the cameras everywhere, courtesy of Heavensbee, who will broadcast this to the world. The decorations are not of highest quality, but I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Up on the altar is Dalton, a man from District 10 who will be conducting the ceremony. He is holding the net that Annie and I will put over our shoulders, a wedding tradition from our District. On one side I see the kids from 13 getting ready to sing the traditional wedding song. It speaks of true love and the sea and the voyage that is two people falling in love and the storms and calm waves we've had to go through to get to where we are.

"Ten minutes! Where the hell is the groom?!" I hear Heavensbee yell from the entrance. I rush over to him. "We have to get the people in here now!" He tells me, even though it's not my job to worry about that.

"Come on, boy." Dalton says, taking my arm gently and leading me to the altar. The doors open and people flood in. My face automatically goes hard and I have to concentrate to let it go and show my emotion. Which, right now, happens to be nervousness.

The two minutes pass all too quickly, until the people finally quiet. I repeat my vows over and over in my head as I did yesterday in front of the mirror. But the moment the doors open, I completely forget about them.

Annie walks in, her face lit up like a lamp, radiating love off like light. Her eyes don't look like the sea, they are the sea, the skirt of her dress being the waves that move at her will. Her red hair is vibrant as fire and her freckles stand out sweetly, her eyes shining. But it's her smile that completely takes me away. It is bright as the Sun. And, in that moment, as she walks to me, Annie becomes everything. She is the light I wake up to in the morning and the darkness that envelops me in my sleep. She is the summer breeze and the warm blankets in the winter. She is the sugarcubes in my coffee. She is the sea and the sand and the Sun and the Moon. Annie is my love. Annie is my life.

Images flash before my eyes, images of underwater kisses over coral reefs, of the morning coffee, of the little cabin by the sea, of what the word 'home' has come to mean. Because home is no longer my mansion, or the Village, or my District. Home is her arms, now and forever.

She can't get to the altar soon enough. All I want to do right now is sweep her off her feet and kiss her endlessly. When she finally gets here, I take her in, searing her hair and face and eyes and smile in my memory forever, willing them to be the last things I ever see.

I end up getting so lost in Annie's smile that I hardly listen to most of her vows.

"…In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, I promise to love and cherish you each day." My stomach drops to my feet when I realize she's finished and it's my turn. _I shouldn't be worried_ , I think. Yet I somehow couldn't shake off the feeling.

"And I, Finnick Odair, take you, Annie Cresta, as my wife from this day forth. Together or apart, we will always be united. One life. One purpose. One destiny." We then proceed to put on out net. It is a tradition that symbolizes unity and love in our District. Annie had wanted to use her mother and father's net, but it is back in 4.

"You may kiss the bride." Dalton says. I can't stop the little smile that my lips form before joining hers. _We're married. We can be together now. We're free from the Capitol._

It just seems too good to last.

But I won't worry about that for now. The only thing that I should do tonight is enjoy myself and cherish Annie.

We had longed for freedom, for recognition of how much we loved each other, that we danced until our feet hurt. And, in that moment, with people dancing around us and Annie laughing, I just let myself hope.

After long hours of dancing, Heavensbee announces that there will be a surprise. He and I had planned this for weeks. It is a gift, a surprise for Annie. It's the only one of my secrets I don't feel bad about hiding from Annie. My smile fades as I remember the other secret. _Don't think about that. Tonight is for Annie and you._

The doors then open and everyone gasps. There, as promised, is a beautiful, giant, wedding cake. Annie's eyes go wide, her hands covering her mouth.

"You didn't…" She whispers, turning to look at me. I wink and she squeals in excitement. "Finnick! Oh my-!" I take a moment to admire the cake, courtesy of Peeta, before someone cuts out a slice and gives it to Annie. His careful hands managed to create our beautiful sea-themed cake. I'm so thankful to him.

Annie moves to grab a spoon, but I beat her to it, taking a piece of the cake and putting it gently in her mouth. She gives me what at first is a playful, annoyed look that then turns into undying love. I pull the spoon out of her mouth and kiss her, tasting the sweetness of the cake.

After the party ends, I pick Annie up, bridal style, taking care not to hurt the baby. The entrance to our bedroom is decorated in shells and carefully-woven decorative nets. This is Annie's doing.

I look down at her, surprised. She looks back up and winks, melting my heart.

"I love you." I tell her. Such a simple phrase, so taken for granted, but so beautiful all the same.

"I love you too."


	25. Chapter 25

Annie

 _One and a half weeks later…_

 _Finnick had been acting strange for a while now_ , I realize. _How could I have been so stupid as to ignore that!_

A couple of days after our wedding, Finnick had started to act weird. He seemed happy, sure, happier than I'd ever seen him. But he seemed sad as well. I thought it was because of the fact that people were being sent off to war, now. Whenever he thought I was looking, every time he acted sad, he would smile, as if to tell me he's alright. But I didn't buy it. I also started to notice that he was becoming very clingy. I thought that obviously had to do with the fact that I was pregnant.

I now realize I could have talked to him. I could have told him he was being stupid.

Now, all I can do is sit in our room and cry.

I remember the fear. I remember waking up screaming. I remember searching for him in our bed in the dark. I remember turning on the lights and realizing he wasn't there.

I had run to Heavensbee immediately, demanding to know where Finnick had gone. Plutarch could only look sad as he answered: "He's in the Capitol."

I had run off to our room as quickly as possible, my knees giving out as soon as I closed the door.

 _Finnick is gone._ I think.

I notice then a small piece of paper on a chair next to the door. I know it wasn't there last night. I open it eagerly, hoping there to be some sort of explanation. My eyes read through the entire letter twice, tears welling up.

 _Dear Wife,_

 _I'm sorry. I'm truly, deeply sorry._

 _I know you didn't want me to go fight the rebellion. I know you didn't think it was worth it. You thought me dying for the war wouldn't help. This is one of the things I disagree with you in._

 _I think I'd rather die fighting, having you and the baby safe and free for the rest of your lives than keep living, imprisoned and sold, having him grow up thinking his father is a coward._

 _Don't worry, it won't come to that._

 _I intend to be there when he takes his first steps. I want to see him talk for the first time. And I wish to have more children._

 _Don't worry, my love. I'll come back._

 _I've never lied to you. I've always kept my promises._

 _And, Annie, I promise you, I will come back alive, whatever it takes._

Just then, for the first time in weeks, the cold feeling washes over me and I Leave.

 _"_ _Where's Finnick?" I ask. I don't really understand why I'm worried, though._

 _"_ _Relax, he just went down to the market!" Cora answers._

 _"_ _Why did he leave?" I ask, not knowing why my cheeks are wet._

 _"_ _Jeez, Shell! You're acting like he's off to war or something!" She jokes. Her face darkens almost instantly, though. "Annie? Why are you crying?"_

I don't get the benefit of staying for long, though. Soon, there is a knock at the door. I stand up and open it, surprised to see Haymitch standing there.

"Annie, come see this." I follow him into the hallway and down to the propo room, where a large holo-tv is situated. "Coin didn't want to show you this but we insisted. You're his wife. You should know." I look up at the screen, at first not knowing what is going on. I see a face, I think Cressida's. The image changes and I see Katniss. The image changes and I see Peeta. The image changes and I see Finnick.

I don't understand why their faces are on the television. Then is hear Snow's voice.

"Katniss Everdeen has met a violent end."

But if Katniss died…

That would mean Finnick died, too.

Absolute horror takes over me. _Finnick can't be dead, Finnick can't be dead, Finnick can't be-_

"He's not dead! They're okay! Don't worry! They sent us a message. They all survived. Well, not all of them, but Finnick did. The words from his letter ring in my ears. _Don't worry, my love. I'll come back._

The immediate relief brings tears to my eyes. I close my eyes trying not to cry. That was close. That was too close.

Against Coin's orders, I spend the rest of the week glued to the holo-tv, where Haymitch and Plutarch had decided to play the recordings. I watch as the team make their way through the Capitol traps, which no one bothered to explain to me.

First a street went up in flames, then they were shot at from a corner, then the corner exploded, killing Boggs. My heart had sunk. _People are dying_. Finally a big mass of what looked like oil. I turned away as Peeta pushed someone into the oil, where a trap was triggered. The man went up in a net filled with spikes that undid his flesh. I had pushed away the cold feeling threatening to take me away. _I need to see Finnick_.

In order to escape the oil they have to hide in a building that is later shot down by Peacekeepers. This is where they supposedly 'died'.

"Only two of them died there. The Leeg sisters. Everyone else made it out alive." Haymitch explains. "We don't have footage of that yet, and I don't think we will. Their new commander, Jackson, sent us a message. She said they were going underground."

"Underground?" I ask.

"Yeah. To the sewers. Meaning you might as well go, I hear you have places to be."

I almost slapped myself. _Of course. How could I have forgotten?_

I take off, not bothering to say goodbye.

I rush into the office. In it is a friendly-looking woman who smiles as I come in. Her kind smile helps ease the knot in my stomach. _It's just a psychiatrist_ , I tell myself.

Her name is Dr. Grey. I hadn't been very enthusiastic to get help from her, or anybody, even after Plutarch had suggested it.

"You're late, Annie dear, what was keeping you?" She asks as I sit down on a comfy-looking couch. Her office has a sort of warm feeling, with a few comfortable chairs and shelves filled with colorful books and toys.

"I was watching the A-Team on the holo-tv." I answer. Dr. Grey isn't very pretty, but she certainly looks kind. Her warm brown eyes give her a motherly look.

"Please don't do that again. I don't mind that you're a little bit late, but don't be late watching _that_."

"Sorry, I just feel a need to know what my husband is going through." I tell her, feeling a little bad afterwards for having said it meanly, but without any feeling of shame. I have I right to know about Finnick, after all.

"Well, how about you tell me a little about yourself, Annie? Seeing as this is our first meeting. I only know your name, age, and District!"

"Well, um… As you know, my name is Annie Cresta. I'm from District 4. My family-" Even after all these years, the words hurt. "-My family is dead. My mother died when I was a little girl. I barely remember her anymore. My sister, Coral she was called, was going to get married. She drowned, along with my little brother and father. Except they didn't drown. Snow killed them because I'm mad." I close my eyes again to stop the tears.

"If I may interrupt you for a second. You're not mad, Annie. You have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. There's nothing wrong with that." _Well, considering my family is dead because of my so-called Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, I think there might just be a little something wrong with that._

"Anyway, I went to… you know. And I won. I met Finnick. He was my mentor. And I met Mags, the other tribute's mentor. And they sort of became my new family. Now Mags is God-knows-where and Finnick is fighting for his life. And now…" I smile at the mere thought of it. "…now we have a baby on the way."

"Well, about the baby… You have been granted the privilege of Parent Training, as we like to call it. We saw that, since you don't have a family anymore, live in a war environment, and might have to raise him alone-"

"What do you mean raise him alone?! Finnick will raise him too!" I can barely contain myself. I hadn't wanted to think about it, but the thought enters my brain now, making my throat close. What if he dies?

"Well, Annie… Finnick is off fighting a war. There is a chance, a low one, that he may not come back home." No, no, no, no.

"No, you don't understand! Finnick is… well… Finnick! He always comes back! He promised! He never lies!" I tell her, willing her to understand. The concept of Finnick dying is unthinkable.

"Annie, dear… I think you need to open up to the possibility of being a single mother." No, no, no! This is all wrong! Finnick will be a father! Seadon will have a family!

I hadn't realized I said that out loud.

"Well, anyway… you have Parent Training now every other day starting next week."

We keep talking for a while. She tells me about Post-Traumatic Stress, or PTSD, and how there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. She doesn't mention Finnick or Seadon again.

"PTSD is a mental disorder that occurs when someone experiences a shocking, scary, or dangerous event. It's normal to feel afraid during and after a traumatic situation, like your Games, Annie. Fear triggers many split-second changes in the body to help defend against danger or to avoid it. Nearly everyone will experience a range of reactions after trauma, yet most people recover from initial symptoms naturally. Those who continue to experience problems may be diagnosed with PTSD. People who have PTSD may feel stressed or frightened even when they are not in danger. There are multiple methods to deal with this, but I will be trying the Exposure therapy. This helps people face and control their fear. It gradually exposes them to the trauma they experienced in a safe way. It uses imagining, writing, or visiting the place where the event happened. This way, you can learn to cope with your feelings." Dr. Grey explains.

"No." I say almost immediately. I don't want to relive that. I don't care what good it will do.

"Annie. I'm sorry but if you're going to be a single mother, you need to get over this."

"I am not going to be a single mother!" I yell, storming out.

It is only after thinking it through for a couple of hours that I realize she's right. If I'm going to be a mother, of any kind, I'm going to have to learn to control myself.

 _The next day…_

"Okay, so today we're going to talk about your Games. I need you to describe them to me." My brain automatically goes: _No!_ But I know I have to do it. I need to be there for my baby. I need to be strong.

"Well, my main motivation was to get back to my family. Obviously, I didn't know… Anyway, I got in the Arena and the first thing I did was run to the forest. I was with my friend, my only friend in the Arena: Carolina. Such a kind girl." My voice breaks, but I keep going, pushing down the sobs that threatened to rise. "She died. She died saving me. Only days before her eighteenth birthday. And- and I killed somebody. I never knew his name. And then I ran. I ran until-" My brain gives out and I Leave.

 _I wrap my arms around Finnick's neck, taking him in._

 _"_ _Where the hell have you been?!" I ask him, not knowing why I'm so furious._

 _"_ _Um… In the market, Annie."_

 _"_ _And did you think it right to just leave without telling me?!"_

 _"_ _I- uh… I left a note on the counter." He says._

 _"_ _That's not good enough!" I yell. I don't know why I'm crying. I don't know why I'm so heartbroken. All I can think about is:_ Why did he leave?!

 _"_ _Well, sorry… I just had to buy some food." He tells me, rubbing my back, a confused expression of his face._

 _"_ _Don't… ever… do that… again." I whisper, my voice breaking._

The days pass uneventfully. There is no word from the rebels for the next two days. I go to session after session, working hard not to Leave, as Dr. Grey told me. The medics run endless tests, the only highlight being the photographs of the baby that they give me. Turns out there's nothing wrong with him.

But no amount of sessions or tests could have readied me for what was coming.

I was with Dr. Grey, having another session in which she told me to talk about my family when it happened.

Dr. Grey has just finished giving me advice when the door opens. Haymitch comes in, his expression somber. I look at Dr. Grey. Her eyes tell me that she knows what he's going to say. She closes them like she's in pain, then puts her hand on my shoulder. That's when Haymitch speaks.

"Annie… We're really, really sorry… Finnick is dead."

"No." My calm surprises me. "He's not dead."

"Yes, he is, Annie. Katniss confirmed it yesterday. We're truly sorry. The funeral will be in a few weeks."

"No. He promised he'd come back. He never breaks his promises." I tell him. _Of course he's not dead. He's Finnick._

"He's gone. He's not coming back." Dr. Grey says, taking my hand. But I don't want to touch her. I don't want her anywhere near me. _Finnick can't be dead, Finnick can't be dead, Finnick can't be dead_ , I repeat over and over in my head. But even that is not enough. I look down at my swelling stomach as my eyes fill with tears. _No._

"No." I whisper. "No." I don't scream. I don't shout. I don't sob or yell. I just cry silently. "No."

I get up slowly and walk to my room, ignoring the looks of pity I get from the rest of the District. All I think about is: Finnick will be waiting for me in my room.

But when I open the door he's not there.

That's when it finally hits me.

Finnick is dead. Finnick is gone. He is never going to hold you or touch you or kiss you ever again. What's worse he died alone, in pain, and in a sewer. I will be alone for the rest of my life and my child will grow up without a father.

The sobs wreck my body and I hold my stomach protectively. _Seadon. Seadon is going to grow up without a father. Seadon is going to grow up without siblings or grandparents or uncles or aunts. Just his mad mother who couldn't keep it together if her life depended on it._

 _Finnick is dead. He died yesterday._

Funny, how I'd always thought if he died I'd know. I thought it would feel like something went wrong and I would know before they told me. But my Finnick has been dead for two days, his body God-knows-where, his mind and soul long gone. Now his green eyes will shine no more and he will not have another sugarcube or another kiss. Finnick Seadon Odair. My Finn. Dead.

 _I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Seadon. I couldn't stop him._ I don't know what I'm going to tell Seadon whenever he asks about his father. He left and I was too dumb to realize it.

I cry, even after I'm out of tears. I hug my belly and rock back and forth on the bed, my knees to my chest. I don't know when or how, considering the circumstances, but I fall asleep eventually.

 _"_ _Do you want a sugarcube?" Finnick says, his hand outstretched. We laugh and eat sugarcubes, our mouths full of sugar._

 _A gigantic pool. Finnick and I swim in the Training Center for hours until our legs hurt, laughing and playing._

 _"_ _Annie." He says, holding my hand. I'm in the hospital after the Games and he is taking care of me_

 _"_ _Finnick." I say and I smile. "Where am I?"_

 _"_ _Can I kiss you?" I ask, surprised. He looks surprised, too, but when he smiles happiness flows into his eyes._

 _"_ _You can always kiss me, Annie. No matter what." He says. I close my eyes and lean in and kiss him. It's soft, but it allows me to explore his mouth. He tastes sweet, probably due to the sugarcubes he eats every day. He is gentle, not pushing too far, only just right._

 _"_ _Take a lot of air and go under." I do as he tell me and go under the bright blue water of our little beach. I turn to see Finnick swimming by me, holding my hand. Then he points ahead and I see tons of beautiful coral. They're every color: bright pink, soft orange, dark purple, even green and blue. We only come up occasionally to get air, but we spend hours exploring the beautiful reef. It's not until the sun has set that we're back on the beach. I'm wrinkled and tired, but I feel great._

 _"_ _Finnick?"_

 _"_ _Yeah?"_

 _"_ _Race you down!" I exclaim, running to the kitchen._

 _"_ _Hey! That's not fair!" I hear him say. I run down the stairs and I'm almost to the kitchen when I feel two strong hands on my waist, lifting me into the air._

 _"_ _Finnick!" I call out, pulling off the hospital blankets and getting up quickly._

 _"_ _Annie? Annie!" He starts running towards me, and my feet take off automatically. Soon, I'm back in his arms, feeling his hair and face and arms. Finnick. My Finnick. In my arms again._

 _"_ _It's okay, Annie. You're safe now. You're ok." I laugh and we kiss once more. Finally, I think, I'm with him at last._

 _"_ _I'm pregnant." His eyes light up and his smile is bigger than ever. He laughs and picks me up, spinning me around, so, so happy._

 _"_ _You're pregnant! I'm going to be a father!" He says, his eyes full of happy tears. "I'm going to be a father." He repeats, softer this time._

 _"_ _It's a boy." He gives me a long, sweet kiss, then moves down and kisses my slightly-bigger tummy._

And when I wake up, the bed is still empty, and the note is still on the chair, and I'm still alone.


	26. Chapter 26

Finnick

We went down to the sewers yesterday night. I had known them to be dirty, but I never expected them to smell so bad. On the bright side I have a new trident that helps to distract me from the horrors of the war. It's beautiful, made of a shiny metal, with tips so sharp they could cut through stone. I'm so very thankful for the trident.

Now, as I wake up, what I did last week sinks in. I left Annie. I left her alone. It was for the best, but I still left her. And, as selfish as it is, I miss her. I want to be home with her instead of here, watching people die again. But I need to fight. I need to protect our child. A strange sound interrupts my thoughts. It sounds like a whisper mixed with metal scratching stone. I haven't felt truly afraid in a long time, but this would do me.

As the strange hisses grow nearer, I start to decipher what it was saying. _Katniss. Katniss. Katniss._

"Guys, we have to go, now!" Peeta says, helping people up.

"What's that noise?" Asks Jackson.

"Mutts." He responds. _Mutts. Mutations. I wonder what sort of mutation would make a sound like that_.

And I really don't want to find out.

We break into a run, which is hard, being knee-deep in water- or whatever that stuff is.

"Come on!" Katniss urges. The mutts keep getting closer, their hisses bouncing off the dirty sewer walls and directly into our ears.

"He says that there is an exit at the far end of this tunnel, if we turn left." One of my squad mates says.

"Hold on." Says Jackson. She turns around slowly, as if sensing something. And the mutts attack. She doesn't even get time to scream as she's torn down by the mutts, which seem to be reptiles. We break into a run, trying to get to the exit and freedom. Before we even get under the hole in the roof, two more members of the squad are killed by the mutt, their intestines and flesh scattered across the sewer floor.

And then the mutt leaps at me.

Luckily, I am able to fend it off with my trident, successfully taking it down. _That was close._

And then I realize: I'm afraid. In fact I'm terrified.

I know then I can't win. I made the wrong choice. Now Annie will be a widow, alone forever, and our child will grow up not knowing who his father was. He will have no brothers and sisters, either. And it's all my fault.

I tear down mutt after mutt, knowing in the end I won't be good enough.

And I know I'm right when a feel claws at my back, bringing me down to the water.

I barely feel it as they tear me apart, my arms and legs and even my abdomen. I don't even see the mutts as it goes down to take the death bite.

 _First I see the mast of my father's fishing boat, a sight I grew up seeing. My mother would take me there and we'd sail off, remembering my father._

 _Second, I see a silver parachute, but not any silver parachute. It was the one that contained my salvation, my only way to win, my trident in the Games._

 _Then, I see Mags, a friend, mother, and family to me. She's laughing about something I said. Boy, how I loved to make Mags laugh._

 _After, I see a pink sky, the same pink sky that settles in District 4 every night before the Sun leaves. I remember how much I missed that pink sky when I was in the Capitol._

 _Next is Beetee's trident, the one that he made for me. The trident helped me through the war, like a little piece of home, a little memory of a little boy fishing._

 _And then, I see Annie. It's our wedding day, and she's walking to the altar. Her smile looks as radiant as the shining Sun, her eyes and dress like the waves in the ocean, her hair like a storm of fire. Annie. My Annie._

 _Finally, I see our cabin, with our many children, happy, living in a free, peaceful world. Annie is holding a child, and another plays on my lap. There are wrinkles around her eyes but I don't care because we're together and we have a family. And so I look out the window to look at the sea. I stare at the magnificent green water before closing my eyes, lulled by the sound of the waves breaking over rocks._


End file.
